Ecstasy Re-lived

My pre-Kindle story

2011-05-27T12:27:00.008+08:00

The birthday has come and gone. As usual, H came up with out-of-the world surprises. Not of the parachute flying or fireworks display type, but making the birthday girl go around the house like she were on the 'Amazing Race'. The clues were no simple, they were these ultra-mokkai, rhyming tamil verses. When at last I got to the last clue, I had to rummage through my own handbag for the gift.

This time, however, a week before my birthday, H really had to discuss the gift with me. He was planning to get the Kindle reader and was not completely convinced if I would prefer reading from an e-book reader. I immediately said no. No matter how advanced technology can get, I still love and cherish reading from the printed book. I simply can't resist touching the crisp pages and watching my bookmark travel from the first page to the last. It's a feeling that no e-book reader can replace.

"Just imagine", H went on that night, trying to lure me into his trap. "There are so many advantages with the Kindle. You would get to read those fat books, that you cannot stuff into your handbag. You can own every one of them."

"Yeah, but then what do we put on our must-have book shelf?" I retorted.

He knew it was coming.

"That's exactly the point, let's make space for a nice big home theatre system instead. How about that?" He said, with a solid ear-to-ear grin.

As much as H loves to read books and infact, is open to reading a lot more authors than I am, if you put a book and a movie DVD next to each another, his hands would snatch the DVD, no matter what language. So, after some research (read 'googling') H decided to wait for the next version of Kindle and hopes that he would have enough time to convince me for the budget allocation.

This apart, one of my new year resolutions for 2011 was to read atleast one book a month and to start blogging again, something that I had taken for granted and been lazy to do. I have been keeping an account on Shelfari and today, I realized that I have already added 13 books into my 2011 list. Finally, here is a new year resolution that I have sincerely stuck to. I hope I keep up the momentum.

Some books have been amazing, some not-so-good. Here are my reviews and ratings, in decreasing order.

Water for Elephants
by Sara Gruen

This is one of the best books I've read in a long time. There is this magic that some books have - they get you so connected to the characters, that when you turn over to the last page, its like you are at the departure gates of an airport. "Water for elephants" certainly did that to me.

Sara Gruen has done excellent homework for this book. By transporting you to the world of the circuses, animals and the performers, she has proved to be a master story-teller. As soon as I read the first chapter, I realized that this is perfect material for a motion picture.

*spoiler alert* I really wish there was a sequel to this book portraying Jacob and Marlena's life together after they left, but now I can only hope for the motion picture.

A soul crushing story. A page-turner!

My rating : *****

Diary of a wimpy kid
by Jeff Kinney

A very funny and light read. If not as good as the ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ series, this book still has that mischievous element to it.

The Chirag Gupta trick in ‘Rodrick Rules’ is so simple, yet funny, I can’t wait to try it on someone.

Ultra cute and ‘ROTFL’ quality.

My rating: ****

An Equal Music
by Vikram Seth

For music lovers and incurable romantics, this is a great read. It took close to a month to finish. The book does that to you. It takes it own time, giving you the intricate details and leaves you in no hurry to turn over to the last page. The surprise element strikes itself only when you are halfway through the book, and here, by surprise, I really mean surprise.

*spoiler alert* Neither does it start with "Once upon a time...", not does it have the "...and they lived happily ever after" ending, but still there is something in the story that keeps you glued.

For long, I've been wanting to read Vikram Seth's "A Suitable Boy", but I simply don't have the energy to hold such a gigantic book during my bus journey. An Equal Music gave me a head start to mesmerize myself in Seth's style of prose. Of course, his love for poetry peeks in at many occasions.

Overall, a tender and touching story.

My rating: ****

Sister of My Heart
by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

Divakaruni is a wonderful story-teller, with unimaginable metaphors tossed throughout the book. This book stands proof that English is one language where simple words when stringed together with passion, can add such beauty to even the ugly. The author has hidden the biggest secret between such masterfully crafted lines, so much so that, I was really taken by surprise at the end.

The two protogonists, Sudha and Anju, share alternate chapters to narrate the story and that's what adds an amazing personal touch to the whole story. Even though Sudha believes in fairy tale endings and shooting stars, the author emphasizes to her readers that life is no such fable. The ending was the only let down for me because, in an attempt to give an open ending, it seemed like Divakaruni ran out of pages and had to draw the full stop.

Finally, this book is by a woman, for the women and about the women caught in the world of men.

My rating: ***

The Mistress of Spices
by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

After reading Divakaruni's "Sister of my Heart" and "Palace of Illusions", I could hardly believe this work to be hers. For me, it was a total let down. The magic is no make-believe and the story hardly starts until the very end.

This book of spices was very bland.

My rating: **

CONQUERED !

2011-04-04T21:45:00.005+08:00

“We are the championssssssssssssss!!!!”

That’s all I have been roaring around in the house ever since Saturday night. H is amused to see me this hyper. As a matter-of-fact, he has never really seen me this excited, especially for cricket. But last Sunday, I showed him how high I could get on one match of cricket, especially when Dravid is not playing.

“That ball would miss the leg stump you stupid. Don’t even raise that silly finger of yours!” I shouted when the Sri Lankan bowler appealed for a LBW.

H was awestruck.

“Eppadi di? Unnaku eppadi theriyum?” It was more an exclamation than a question.

It was the old me, brought up in a house filled with men and boys, playing mixed doubles in every other sport because I was the only girl around. So, my knowledge about cricket is pretty much raw. On the other hand, H is close to a walking encyclopedia. Except that this encyclopedia is extremely good at remembering trivial details like how many wives Charlie Sheen has, but cannot remember that expensive gold earring that he bought his wife 2 months ago. So, when it comes to cricket, you can imagine how statistics rule his memory. So in our world, H fancies himself to be the official cricket news reporter for some imaginary magazine that he calls ‘Cricket: Stumps to Stands.’ You can even find Ireland vs Netherlands match reports here. Until I heard him discuss one of those matches with me, I didn’t know cricket was geographically present in those parts of the world.

Saturday’s match brought back those memories and I was on my feet once again, after a really long time. I enjoyed the match more than what H would have ever dreamt his wife would. Throwing hi-fi’s at him for every Sri Lankan wicket taken, every boundary saved by Yuvraj, every run India scored and every appeal that was turned down for the Lankans. Sometimes, I swore. I sat in the same damn place without a visit to the loo fearing something unthinkable might happen. Thankfully for me, H too believes in cricket superstition, especially after the first two Indian wickets fell. You must have seen his face then, a hybrid between an angry mother-in-law and Snoopy dog of ‘You know wat, I’m happy’ fame.

As cinematic as it turned out, when the last ball was smashed for a six, H and I jumped with so much excitement. At 2 am, we treated ourselves to icecream. For a long time that night, we couldn’t sleep. That’s what a victory this king-size does to you.

Cricket for most Indians is like turmeric in our desi kitchen. A childhood spent without playing, watching or cheering for cricket is as much as a childhood wasted. So essential. If there are as many as five things that I would cherish of my Indian origin, they would probably be – curd rice, the roadside paani poori, the blue passport, salwaar kameez and, cricket. That essential.

Thank you Team India, for winning this cup. For India. For Indians. For Sachin Tendulkar.

So, now that we have conquered that pinnacle, welcome. Welcome to the biggest party in the world.

Tips for scientific publication

2011-03-19T20:14:00.003+08:00

*This post is purely academic.*

No laptop. No powerpoint slides. No laser pointer. Just him and a few aspiring scientists. Some modest advice. Bountiful jokes.

This is what yesterday’s talk by Prof Jiri Friml was all about. He is a professor at the University of Ghent, Belgium and has a whole bunch of publications in top journals such as Nature, Science, PNAS, Cell. He estimated an average output of ~15 publications per year from his lab.

One of the reasons I wanted to put together this talk is because it was down-to-earth and is adaptable by any lab. I remember one talk in the past where the scientist showed us a picture of himself writing a paper in an isolated room. The slide was completely dark except for some faint light from his laptop’s monitor that illuminated his face and the papers strewed around him. He was literally seeing ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ I suppose.

Anyway, here is my summary of Prof Jiri Friml’s talk.

1. DATA: The hard truth about publication is that more than half of the data that has been accumulated is not going to go into the paper. So, it’s best to be mindful of the requirement and work towards it, rather than accumulate truckloads of data which will eventually not get in. Saves time and a painful heart.

2. KNOCK-KNOCK: His lab statistics show that students who knock his office door more often for discussions are the ones who churn out more publications. So, don’t have any inhibitions. Just take the initiative, discuss and get started.

3. OUTLINE: This is the most important trick of all. So, once you have all the data, organize it and come up with an outline. A near perfect one. The outline would basically include putative figures, tables, the flow of the story, etc.

4. KICK ASS: As ruthful as it may sound, that’s exactly what he said. Go behind your supervisor. Make sure he goes though your outline and criticizes. Sit down with him to discuss areas where you can improve and bring it to better shape.

5. WRITER’S BLOCK: Well, who doesn’t have one? There is and will never be a universal cure for a writer’s block. Eventually, the only inevitable way to break it is to sit down and get started. The first paragraph would almost make you repent your decision to do a PhD, but once you have crossed this Indo-Pak border, then you are better off (slightly).

6. TITLE: The main ~~(earth shattering)~~ finding in crisp and simple language.

7. ABSTRACT: One of the most important parts of the manuscript. Be clear and concise. This is exactly what he said about abstracts, “If your paper is about plant development, and you are submitting it to Plant Biology, write your abstract as if you were explaining it to your benchmate. If you intend to submit to Developmental Biology, write as if you are telling your mother. Lastly, if you are aiming for Nature, it better be good enough for your grandma to understand.” I guess that pretty much summarizes it.

8. SHORT STORY OR NOVEL: Decide on whether you are going to write up the story in the long (5-7 pages?) or the short format (3-4 pages?).

9. WHICH JOURNAL: It’s good to be excited about your data, but don’t be that incurable optimist. Give your story that modest rating and decide on a journal where you would like to send. Certain journals have a format for the text and the references. Keep that in mind while writing.

10. THE STORY: Make sure the idea and the findings form a rounded story. Don’t hide important data and conclusions in the middle of figures or tables. Reveal them at the beginning of a paragraph or give that punch at the end of one.

11. PERFECT THE PARAGRAPH: Try to work one at a time. Don’t move to the next paragraph until you are satisfied with the previous one. If you skim through, only to come back and edit it later, it’s going to drain your energy further. Of course, there are bound to be gaps, but make sure you know what needs to be filled in.

12. FIRST DRAFT: Make it as perfect as you can before the first draft of the manuscript goes to your supervisor. The supervisor is busy ~~(by default)~~ and he is only going to get irritated to see silly errors. Save him his energy by italicizing the gene names, giving relevant references, mapping the text to the right figure/table and checking for typos and grammatical errors.

13. RE-WRITE: Now for the truth. No matter how much blood you shed to make it that perfect first draft, your supervisor will spot a mistake in the very second line. So go ahead and make all the changes as soon as possible.

14. FINAL TOUCHES: Once you and your supervisor are ready with the final manuscript, try to get it reviewed by someone senior within your institute/university. He/she might be able to give that critical eye before you send it out to the editor. Also, if there is someone good enough to polish the language, go ahead and get them to look through it. *His university actually has a full time staff who goes through manuscripts and helps them to make sure that their format adheres to the journal’s requirements.*

15. COVER LETTER: Keep it short. Don’t be redundant by talking about your data once again. The editor is going to read your abstract anyway. Highlight previous publications in their journal or other top journals whose work highly co-relates to yours. Be poetic, if possible.

16. AVOID YOUR ENEMIES: This is more in the hands of the supervisor. If your supervisor has the option to choose your reviewers, that would be good. If he would wish that the paper rather not end up with some folks, mark them off.

17. PROFESSIONAL, NOT EMOTIONAL: Rejected? Now, don’t get dejected and make that emotional call to the editor. He/she encounters such calls throughout the day and just wants to have some peace at work before he can get back to a whiny baby at home. So, be professional. If you believe that there is really a misunderstanding, write it down and e-mail it to them.

18. KEEP IT SIMPLE: The Prof narrated this incident wherein one of his papers got rejected by Nature, Nature Cell Biology and then also by Plant Biology. He simply split the single manuscript into two, made it simpler and got them both accepted by Science. Simple is the key.

19. FATE: Some papers are just fated to go round and round. There is nothing you can do about them. Don’t give up.

20. PUBLISHED: Finally! Go and open the corks!

Happy publishing!

Made for each other?

2011-02-27T14:04:00.001+08:00

I feel no shame in accepting the fact that H and I love food.

I have been a food lover ever since I can remember. During school days, I had this habit of peeping into the kitchen even before I went to brush my teeth. It used to drive Amma crazy.

“Don’t touch this with unclean hands! Just wait and watch! It will get you into trouble at your in-laws”, she used to mumble in between her prayers.

The monotonous radish sambar, beans or cabbage curry cooked generously in coconut or sometimes worse, slimy ladiesfingers, were always met with a long face. Thankfully I had some really good friends in school who were generous enough to finish it up for me. On rare occasions, when Amma used to make rotis with chana masala or pulao for lunch, I used to get so impatient just waiting for the lunch break.

My outlook towards food changed as soon as I moved away from home for university. I began to thank every morning cup of tea that my mother selflessly prepared for me during my trips home. I craved so much for home-cooked (or rather Amma-cooked) food that whenever I got pulled to a restaurant with my cousins, I sincerely ordered a bowl of curd rice.

Then H happened. I was so relieved to find out that he loves to cook and enjoys it too. During one of our conversations about food, topic drifted to kozhakattai.

Me: Oh, I love kozhakattai too.

H: What goes best with it?

Me (in a Complan girl tone): I eat it as it is.

H: I eat kozhakattai with molaga podi. That’s the best side-dish.

This is when I began to doubt his tastebuds and felt my first pangs of cold feet. How could anyone eat something as sweet as kozhakattai with molaga podi? After an argument that almost made us run out of our skype credit, we realized that he was talking about pudi kozhakattai (salty rice flour dumplings) and I, was talking about our very own pillaiyar kozhakattai (sweet dumplings). There began our first misunderstanding. When I went back to bed that night, I began to wonder, ‘Still, pudi kozhakattai and molaga podi?’ I didn’t know that existed.

Little did I realize that I had only seen a trailer of my husband’s ‘bizarre food combos.’

Ever since we have started living under the same roof, our marriage all fresh and vibrant, I have been trying to cook up something new every day. Upon returning home from work, he walks straight into the kitchen (with his shoes!) to check out what’s cooking for dinner, while I rummage through his messy bag for a surprise donut or cheesecake. One look at his sparkling eyes and I know its all worth it. This whole cooking exercise after work is tiring, but the joy, unparalleled. Sometimes I even see my childhood image in him and then I know my life has come a full circle.

One day, I decided to make him my Indian fusion version of his favourite pasta. I made it all colourful with vegetables, a healthy amount of cheese shimmering on top, laid it out in a bowl, and gave it that profession touch with some Italian herbs for dressing.

As soon as I open the door, he walks straight to the kitchen. It amazes me how he still has that jump in his step after almost 14 hours of work. Excited, he quickly gets changed and ready to feast. After the first few spoons, he slowly wriggles away into the kitchen, only to bring back a packet of Haldirams aloo bhujiya. I cringe at his insane idea and tell him, “You are spoiling the flavour of the pasta.” But I can only hear how crunchy and desi my pasta has turned out in his hands.

On extremely tiring days, I just do the two-minute noodles thingie. When I am half-way through my plate of maggi, I watch him pack the noodles between two slices of bread, making it look like tentacles were flowing out of them. Even before I say anything, he goes on to reminisce about his college days. Like salt, bread goes with almost anything for him - sambar, rasam, avial and once, even thai green curry!

I’m no saint when it comes to mix-n-match with food. During my 12^th board exam preparations, my cousin, who was then preparing for his 10^th exams, came over to study with me. Late one night we got super hungry and ended up eating the left-over pani pooris (sans the paani) stuffed with Haldirams moong dal and grapes! Those were the only things we could lay our hands on without disturbing my parents. Eventually we ended up waking them up anyway because we both were literally rolling on the floor laughing. That was my first and last bizarre food.

Anyway, coming back to H. As much as I am awestruck by his outlandish food ventures, I am not offended, because he has only added his adventurous touch to my modest kitchen craft. He doesn’t force me to try these either. He knows and respects the fact that I have very stringent rules drawn on my plate.

Afterall, while being in love is about enjoying your similarities; marriage is about enjoying your differences as well. So, nowadays during weekends, I am entertained by these tea time horror movies in which H dips Parle Krack Jack (the pepper one) into his masala tea and gorges on Punjabi samosas with mayonnaise.

Two Years Later

2011-02-13T18:05:00.003+08:00

Hello everybody! I hope you guys are doing great.

Ok, ok, I can sense your eyeballs popping out. Let me tell you, I haven’t absconded, not yet. I may have a million stupid reasons to justify my absence, but that’s not the point. Let’s cut the crap and get to the post.

For now, I don’t have any completed stories to share with you. Most of them are lying around as drafts in my inbox. So like the good old days of this blogsville, I thought I’d just rant away, just to get myself out of this cocoon, the writer’s block.

First. Today is day 634 of our married life. H and me. Not that I’m counting each and everyday and quizzing H, “Honey, guess what’s special today?” I can only imagine ghost hands scratching his head if I ever ask him this on any random day. But then, yeah, at times when I have nothing better to do when on the bus, I open the calculator and check how old (or young?) our marriage is.

The other day, H and I were at this party and random talk just drifted to blogs. On our way back home, H told me, “You really must update your blog. You know how special it is to us. I miss reading what you write.”

The zillion vows we take before tying the knot! Sometimes I get the feeling that wedding promises are like new year resolutions!

Anyway, Valentine’s Day is almost here and my last post was exactly 2 years ago. So this is the right time to revive the blog I guess.

I hope to be back more often, till then, spread the love!

P.S: My 100th post.

Rajan - Completed

2009-02-13T11:22:00.004+08:00

"What would you like to have?" he asked, even before she settled into the chair opposite to him.

"One masala dosai" she replied, surprised at how he never questioned her for being late. She had to fight out her urge to justify the situation, lest he should assume that she was the late-comer.

She watched him as he went to the counter to place their order, his jet black shoes ticking on the wooden flooring of the café with each step. She noticed that the lace on his right shoe had loosened, making the longer of the threads to flip up and down as he walked. He wore navy blue pants to match the white and blue striped shirt, the sleeves of which were rolled up to his elbow exposing his tanned hands laden with short hair lazily slanted to one side. The back of his pants were slightly crumpled in the middle due to the buckling of the knees inside.

Five minutes into their dinner and except for the sounds of the crisp dosa crumbling in her mouth and the sipping of tea, they were silent. There were occasional secret glances at each other through the corner of their eyes which went unnoticed by the other.

"I'd be leaving to Boston for a month" he said finally.

The words stung her. She realized, for the first time in her life how words uttered, could hurt a million fold stronger than those on print. She could feel her heart - another first in her list of firsts. It throbbed harder, faster and it blocked her throat, making it almost impossible to gobble down the piece of dosa that was cracking between her teeth.

A faint 'oh' was all that she could muster herself to say in the midst of the chaos that his words created in her – the 'oh' sounding more like 'Should you really go?' than an element of surprise.

All these emotions that struck her upon his utterance of these words confused her. She had never envisaged that she would miss someone, especially in real life. The only times she had felt anything close to such a feeling was when she was just a couple of pages from finishing up a novel - she would be caught in a maze of curiosity to know the ending, conflicted by the fear of missing the characters who had been a part of her virtual life for the past few days.

She wondered if he felt the same - if he would miss her as much as she would, if she would still be in his thoughts even though they were miles away, if he would count down the weeks, the days, the hours, the minutes when they would be together again in the same café, sitting across a coffee stained wooden table.

Anyone could guess that their acquaintance probably began in a library.

One cold Friday evening of December, they had discovered that they were colleagues, when he returned to her her office ID card that he had found on one of the library shelves.

"Hi. I'm Rajan. I believe this card is yours." He had said, flashing the ID and analyzing her face to confirm if it matched the one on the card.

Rajan – the name struck her with a familiarity that she detested - a character in one of her favourite novels who sold his own children for money. The author had portrayed Rajan so powerfully that she had developed an urge to slap him across his face if she ever got a chance to meet him. In short, she hated Rajan and hence the name. But today, there was this gentleman, sharing the same name and looking straight into her eyes as if he had had an unblemished past.

Looking up at him for the first time, she noticed that an identical tag hung from his neck. Her ID card shifted from his hands to hers as she whispered a forced thank you to him, pitying herself for having to use those words to someone she despised, even if just the name.

"We work in the same company as well huh?" He had continued cheerfully, holding up his own ID card and unaware of all the thoughts that were screaming in her mind.

"I guess so." She said, sounding skeptical.

"Hope to see you around then, Msss…?" He dragged, waiting to hear her utter her name even though he had already read it off her ID card.

"Rashmi" She had finished, slowly turning her back to him.

Since their first meeting, they had often bumped into each other at the library, office corridors, café and the bus stop. However, it was Rajan who always initiated their conversation. Occasionally Rashmi would apologize to herself for equating him to some fictitious character who shared nothing in common with Rajan other than the name. It troubled Rashmi and hence as a matter of self defense, she began to accept Rajan's rare invitations for lunch, dinner or sometimes even for a short tea break. The relationship grew on them and their meetings eventually turned into a habit which either of them couldn't deny themselves the joy of.

"So… when are you leaving?" she asked, after a lengthy one minute silence which took a lot of courage to break.

"Tomorrow." He said, matter-of-factly.

It hit her harder this time. Like sand accumulating at the funnel of an hour glass and inevitably falling prey to gravity, her stomach sank, deeper and deeper into emptiness. The unfairness of the timeline that was left before he would leave made her feel inferior – stupid, that she had assumed and taken for granted, the place she held in his hierarchy of friends.

Twenty four hours, or lesser, she thought.

Their conversation continued as he briefly went through his itinerary with her, pausing in between only to take a sip of his tea or to answer her doubts.

"What would you bring back for me?" She asked him the next evening, when he called to say goodbye.

"Your heart." He replied, without the slightest hint of hesitation.

P.S.: Happy Valentines' day :)

Rajan

2009-02-02T15:53:00.007+08:00

He was late for their early dinner. Had it been any other day, she wouldn’t have made a big deal out of it. But today, it was testing her patience.

She sat restlessly on the wooden chair of her office cafeteria, shifting her weight from one side to the other. The thick jute threads that made the seat of the chair weren’t as comfortable as they were meant to be. Tiny threads stuck out of the thicker ones, like short loose ends of unmanageable hair sticking out of her braids every morning. Sagging down an inch due to the weight of its occupant, the chair made her look shorter than she would have liked. Hence, she had her left hand tucked beneath her left thigh, in an attempt to look taller and also pull out one of those tiny threads that was poking her.

She felt irritated. Frustrated, at how she had hurried to make it on time for their dinner for which he was now running late.

Maybe, he was not to be blamed. He could be stuck in the traffic, a last minute meeting or an unexpected discussion with his manager. She was the one at fault. She was to be blamed for assuming his earlier displays of punctuality to be an excuse for not carrying her huge novel to the cafeteria.

The restlessness of being alone, devoid of a book in her hand made her feel miserable. The idea of watching people walking casually around the café, ordering, exchanging pleasantries with the café manager while waiting for the order, eating, drinking, discussing projects over sheets of paper scattered over the café table – were not what she was particularly fond of. For, this was just a world she dwelled in because she was expected to - a hectic world that kept her far from the crisp pages of books, their places, their beautiful details, their characters and their emotions.

To her fiction was real and the real, far from fiction.

She lived in a world of her own, that was hidden in the books she read. She knew that the places described in the books existed, but she never desired to visit them, for she was content picturing their beauty in text.

Over time, she even began to sketch the character of people based on the books in which she had come across their names. She was madly in love with some characters in the books, so much so that her heart skipped a beat whenever she read their names in others. She hated the way the character with that name was portrayed in total contrast by another author. There were characters she detested. Some pitied. Some envied. Some, she wished could be her.

It troubled her, confused her, to live in one world and merely exist in the other.

The restlessness of the wait grew on her, forcing her to finally get off the chair and quickly walk up to her office cabin to fetch the book. As she swiftly traced her steps back to the café, her wrists were already aching of bearing the thick leather bound novel.

Placing her purse on top of the book and holding them both against her chest, she walked faster. Having just a few more steps left to reach the café, she noticed that he was sitting in the chair she had occupied a few minutes back.

to be continued..

Happy Pongal

2009-01-14T09:33:00.005+08:00

This is very well another OB post. I am finding little motivation in the things around me to come up with some plot for my next story. So for now, this is all I have. Pongal wishes to all of you. Enjoy the festive celebrations and the food while it lasts, for, you never know when you will be stuck in a country that doesn't give you a holiday for Pongal.

“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

P.S.1: Thanks to Mask for the camera :D Posted this pic here before he could steal it from me. Else you would have found a Picture OB post in his blog this evening! :P

P.S.2: Visit his Flickr site here. Its got some interesting stuff. *Compensation for P.S.1* :P

Dreams do come true...

2009-01-05T10:13:00.008+08:00

Hi all,

Hope you guys had a good start to the new year and I sincerely wish you all a wonderful year ahead.

I know I've been totally irregular with my posts. Its sheer laziness which I conveniently call 'writer's block'! :P After a long time, its a break from stories (as if there have been many) to share something personal with you guys.

A year ago, this time, I published one of my first 'long' stories titled 'The Lost Identity' in my blog. Exactly a year later, the story has been published! :D Ironically, the book says 'Short stories by bloggers'! :P

The book is titled 'The Eleven' and its got stories from other amazing bloggers as well (including my favourites Mask, Nivi and Suchitra). It’s priced at INR 150.00. I hope you guys can grab a copy of it. :)

The details of the book can be found here and you can order a copy here. Drop me a comment in case you need any help with the ordering.

That’s about it for now. I hope to follow this post with lots more good news and stories!

Take care and hugs! :D

-Prithz

An Inconvenient Truth

2008-11-29T18:40:00.004+08:00

I sat beside her, my legs slowly getting numb. Her hands lay heavily on my thighs, occasionally lifting the end of her sari to wipe the tears that incessantly poured from her dark, sleep-deprived eyes. I simply let her have me by her side. I stroked her hair, pulling aside the thin strands of water-soaked hair that were falling on her face.

She looked horrible. Sick.

I wiped one stream of tear that rolled down her cheek once again. I wanted to let her know that I was there for her, that I would be there for her - forever.

Forever.

But the word ‘forever’ itself sounded so cliché at the moment. Such moments of uncertainty ought not to be teased by such words. Hence, I simple gave her my company, in silence.

I felt incapable of even relating to her emotions, let alone feeling her feelings. Of course, how much can you expect from a guy who was just 2 years old when his parents passed away?

One more tear. One more wipe.

I wished I could make her feel better. But, I badly feared that this emotion might wrap her for a long time to come, making her a totally different person.

I made a sideward glance at her. More tears.

I tried hard. But the only thing I felt was a big solid lump stuck somewhere between my stomach and my throat, making me feel sore. I myself knew about the loss of my parents only at an age when I realised that a father and mother existed in everybody’s life. I was told that I cuddled into my maid’s arms weeping – weeping because she was weeping and because everyone else around me looked at me with teary eyes.

Maybe, one day I would learn how she felt.

But I dared not to think about it, for; I didn’t want to imagine a day without her – a day without that laughter, a day without the sound of her anklets reverberating our home, a day without her faint voice emerging from the kitchen in between the clattering of vessels, a day without her presence during dinner, a day which would dawn without her beside me or a night which would sleep without her warm breath on me.

That would be the day I would realize how she feels now and maybe that would be the only feeling I would ever feel throughout my life.

Blades of Beauty

2008-09-22T13:45:00.007+08:00

Tried my hand at photography!

"The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass; it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself."

- Henry Miller

Camera Courtesy: Mask's Nikon D80.

P.S.1: Picture copyright hence remains with His Honour @ Flickr.

P.S.2: @ Mask – P.S.1 deserves a treat I guess :P

Musafir

2008-09-09T10:17:00.004+08:00

Pom. Pom. Pom.

The bus driver honked. The bus moved rather slowly, inching its way through what must have been a heavy traffic. I held on to the support bar on the right hand side lest I should slip from my seat. I didn't dare turn to the person sitting next to me. I could smell a strong fruity fragrance from her side – a very creamy one. My guess was a strawberry flavoured perfume – definitely a very charming lady, unless otherwise.

I sat there, quietly listening to the music that reached my ears from the lady's earphones. A melodious and lovely song starting with the words Pehla Nasha started to play. My knowledge is limited to tamil music, so much so that if you sing to me one line from any tamil movie, I would sing to you the whole song. Recently, my 20 year old daughter uploaded a few hindi songs in the new Ipod that she bought for me and that’s when I have begun to appreciate hindi music.

Pehla Nasha – the music went on with a sensuous saxophone interlude. I haven’t yet watched the picturization of the song and so I let my imagination run wild as I choreographed the beautiful song in my mind’s eye. My foot began tapping the floor of the bus in appreciation.

Few minutes passed. The sound track changed. The bus rattled into a stop. The lady next to me excused herself to get out of her seat. Her voice was sweet and gentle. I turned myself towards the aisle in acknowledgement, giving her ample leg space to make her way out. I could feel her soft fabric brush my arm as she walked away. I moved to the window seat, letting my head rest on the window sill and closed my eyes.

I swayed to the tunes of the bus’ path as my journey continued. My dreams continued. I was still under the influence of the song. I told myself to remember to ask my daughter to upload this song in my Ipod.

About half an hour passed. I noticed that no one sat next to me.

Just when I was getting restless to sit anymore, the bus buzzed with activity. I knew it was my stop. Strong instincts. The driver brought the bus to a hault.

I took the stick next to me and unfolded it. Positioning it firmly on the floor, I stood up. Setting my best foot forward, I heard my walking stick tap on the rickety bus floor as it led me on my dark path.

Tock. Tock. Tock.

Tag - A for Apple

2008-09-02T11:32:00.004+08:00

A
http://www.apple.com/trailers/ - Apple movie trailers(A for Apple–fair enough?) :P

B
http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/ - My recently discovered toy to play with photos :)

C
http://www.cricinfo.com/ - For live cricket scores
http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/ - Cartoons for a stress free life

D
http://dictionary.reference.com/ - Quick online dictionary and thesaurus
http://www.devbio.com/ - Academics, at times :D
http://www.dilbert.com/ - Dilbert comics online

E
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page - Wikipedia

F
http://www.freerice.com/index.php - Your vocabulary could earn a few grains of rice for the hungry
http://www.flickr.com/ - Some of the best captured pictures
http://www.fotosearch.com/ - Kodak moments :)

G
http://www.gettingpersonal.co.uk/ - Mind-blowing gifts for most occasions!

H
http://www.hinduonnet.com/ - The Hindu online
http://www.hallmark.com – Hallmark cards

I
http://www.imdb.com/ - Head to tail about movies :D

J
http://www.jstor.org – Journal store online

K
http://kaysonline.blogspot.com/ - Can’t think of anything but this. Busy man. No updates :(

L
http://www.lib.nus.edu.sg – University’s library resources

M
http://mugamudi.blogspot.com/ - Set foot on my blog with a “Main Hoon Na” comment. It speaks volumes now :)
http://www.musicplug.in/ - For songs :)

N
http://www.nus.edu.sg/ - University Website
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/ - Pubmed – For my academic reference

O
http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml - What is the word you are looking for?

P
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php - Rib-tickling comics and so true!
http://photoshoptutorials.ws/ - A great learning platform for Adobe Photoshop freaks

Q
http://www.quotationspage.com – Just for quotes

R
http://www.rediff.com/ - Quick news (and gossip)
http://www.rd.com/ - Reader’s digest online
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/ - Movie reviews

S
http://www.swarovski.com – Every girl’s desire :)
http://www.sbstransit.com.sg/ - Singapore bus guide online
http://supershanki.blogspot.com/ - The complan girl is an avid admirer of your humorous outlook on life :)

T
http://talesfromme.wordpress.com/ - I love her style

U
http://www.us.playstation.com/PSP - A recent reference for my lastest gift :D

V
www.viralx.com - Nice videos

W
http://www.words4ever.com/ - Just for fun

X
http://www.xbox.com/en-US/default.htm - Wish list :D

Y
http://www.youtube.com/ - Practically everyone’s favourite I guess

Z
http://www.zazzle.com/ - An awesome gift site

~~~

I tag Dimplicious, RSubras, Venkatesh :D

Rule:

The Tag name is A for Apple
Give preference for regular sites
Ignore your own blogs, sites.
Tag 3 People.

She - Part IV

2008-08-26T11:24:00.003+08:00

While commotion raged within the house, he sat on the verandah staring into the skies’ nothingness. Why would it have to be him who had to let go, he thought, seemingly trying to evade the inevitable.

The sound of her anklets awoke him to her presence beside him. Her feet stuck out of the embroidered sari as she knelt down in front of his chair. The bangles in her hand chimed as she effortlessly turned his chin to face her twinkling eyes. He looked into her eyes with longing and she gave back an assuring smile in reply. However, he could see the sorrow that lay beyond her smile, for, there he was, right in front of her – painting her mask.

He imagined her walking away from him. Slowly. Gently. Further and further away. She seemed to take away with her, everything that he could call his. Everything but one – a heavy heart which would henceforth just hold memories – of him, of her, of each other and of their masks.

She jolted his lap, stronger this time, persuading him to halt his imagination.

“Cheer up now papa. I’ll be there for you, anytime. You know that.” She said, winking at him and drawing him close into one tight hug.

Kissing her on her forehead, and cupping his right palm on her head, he blessed her. Leaning back on his chair, he sat there watching her walk away, only to become his neighbour’s wife.

~The end~

P.S.: You can read the entire "She" post here.

She - Part III

2008-08-18T17:54:00.001+08:00

She walked another step closer to him, bending down to whisper into his ears, her long hair falling on his shoulders like a blanket. The warm air that she breathed out along with the cold touch of her earring on his neck tickled him. He loved it when she murmured secrets into his ears – it seemed to strengthen his faith, the faith that she trusted him more than she trusted keeping the secret to herself.

He felt a protective aura cloak him as she held his hand in hers – a feeling of security as if nothing in this world could harm him – not even the sickness that was troubling him now.

Nothing.

It was a unique feeling which otherwise only his mother could have made him feel.

Like grey clouds before a rain, her face was changing colour. He saw the tears pooling in her lower eyelids - waiting impatiently to muster one more drop so that they could surrender to the gravity that the slope of her cheek bones had to offer. The tears shone in her eyes, synonymous to the glimmering silver lining of every cloud.

Finally, nature succumbed to do her part. The lightening sincerely struck before the thunder.

Her teary eyes spoke before her voice did.

To be concluded...

She - Part II

2008-08-11T21:00:00.003+08:00

His heart pounded in sync with her swift, confident steps as he watched her climb. Her thin legs carried her up the ladder.

Higher and higher.

Further and further away from him.

He stood here, at the foot of the ladder. His neck strained at the burden of the head looking up at her. He was unaware of how tightly his fingers were clinched around the bars of the ladder, as if they might crumble under his daughter’s weight.

Reaching the top, she called out to him. Her flimsy arms waving out to him in delight. He smiled back at her - a smile that struggled to strike a balance between joy and hidden fear. Joyful of her happiness. Fearful of watching her at a distance beyond his own arm’s length.

She began her slide down. Coming closer to him.

Closer and Closer.

Landing hard on the sandy ground, she resurged onto her feet to climb back on the ladder for her next slide. His fingers just managed to skim past her slender arms as she ran away once again.

He felt out of control – out of control over his own emotions. His over protectiveness was turning into a burden on himself. It wouldn’t be long before she feels the same, he thought.

Not long.

To be continued...

She - Part I

2008-08-05T18:51:00.006+08:00

The early morning breeze fluttered the little hair on her rather bald head. It was funny, yet cute. She looked fresh - her cheeks tender and pink, highlighting the veins that ran within them. With a fine line of dark curled hair, her eyelids enveloped her eyes, like an orange peel covering the ripe fruit beneath. Her lips – rosy and thin, further accentuated her fair complexion. God had sent her with lipstick for a lifetime, he thought. Except for the rhythmic movement of her chest and the flaring of her tiny nostrils, she didn’t move a muscle. The four fingers on either palm were locked around her thumb, showing off her already overgrown fragile nails. She was more than comfortably cuddled into the bedding. After all, it was stitched out of her mother’s old sari.

He watched her, adoring the magic that the early morning rays had on her, or rather, vice versa. He wondered what she would possibly be dreaming. Of fairies? Gods with flowers? Clowns? Or maybe, just maybe, him.

He wanted to ask her, what it was, that she was seeing with her eyes closed.

Contemplating if he wanted her to be awake or sleeping, he gently swayed the cradle. She twitched at the movement, rubbing her nose with the back of her palm and sinking back into her comfort zone. He pulled back his hand, guilty of having disturbed her. He stopped breathing for a moment, lest she should wake up again.

He didn’t know what to do. He had never been this close to a baby. Never. Ever. Now he was left with no choice. It was but his daughter. He wanted nothing to hurt her. Not even the wind. A pang of belongingness ran like a gush of adrenaline.

Sitting back on the chair, he watched her, waiting to be noticed. Silent and patient.

To be continued...

Habits Die Hard

2008-07-29T14:03:00.002+08:00

“Don’t bother mom. I’ll make the sandwiches myself.” He said, checking his watch.

Having 20 minutes to spare before his college bus was to arrive, he sat on the couch with the newspaper on the tea table. Glancing through the headlines, he began to evenly spread butter across the slice of bread. He made sure that every inch of bread had a generous spread of butter – a habit he imbibed from his mother. To him, she was the epitome of perfection and he felt relieved to have got her genes passed down to him rather than the ‘clumsy’ genes of his father.

Biting down the last bit of bread, he folded the paper and placed it under the tea table. He had 7 minutes left to catch the bus. This was the very part of the day he hated – leaving his mom behind at home and going to college. He slid back into the couch and stared at his mother. She smiled back at him – curled thin lips through which peeped a row of shiny teeth and eyes glowing with mischief, as they cast three fine lines from the corner that faded into her temple – the only visible sign of her age.

Her smile was magical and eternal.

Moving closer, he looked deeper into her eyes. He thought he saw a bead of tear building up in those tiny eyes of hers, possibly even faking the smile. Ready to leave, he finally whispered, “I love you and am going to miss you mom.”

Two years had passed since he had helplessly succumbed to let her sleep forever, but that wouldn’t change him one bit.

Black and White

2008-02-28T12:48:00.006+08:00

Roshan sat on the tall chair and waited for instructions.

“Ok Roshan! Here we go. Read aloud each alphabet on this board. Line-by-line.” said the doctor in a friendly tone.

“P F W K C N S Q X D Y U…” He read along with no sign of trouble. However, slowly the letters appeared smaller with every other line. While he was half-way through the struggle to deciphering the last word in the 5^th line, the doctor spoke –

“That’s good! Now….. look at this. What number do you see?”

“18” said Roshan instantly.

“And this one.” the doctor continued.

“27” he said, even quicker.

Taking out the last plate in the stack, the doctor asked, “How about this last one?”

Roshan stared into the card, unable to notice anything but differentially sized green circles. He looked closer. Still nothing.

“It’s got no number. Just green circles.” he said, curling the corner of his lips into a you-can’t-trick-me-boss kind of smile.

“You really can’t identify any number Roshan?” the doctor questioned again, drawing his eyebrows together and staring straight into his eyes. Roshan was the first patient in his 2 years of private practice who had such wonderful eyes – sparkling and blue.

“Nopes.” He replied, this time more confident than the previous.

“Let me look at your eyes. Sit erect on this chair and look into this eyepiece.” the doctor said, moving over to the other end of the machine and seating himself on a high raised chair.

Bright rays of light flashed right into Roshan’s lens. It took him a few seconds before he could get accustomed to such high intensity of light. The doctor examined him for a minute in silence and finally broke the silence –

“I suspect you have colour blindness Roshan. Have you ever noticed?”

“Dammit!” Roshan blurted out, running his fingers through the neatly cropped hair. Getting himself back together, he continued bluntly -

“No. I havnt’t.”

The doctor explained to him that it is most certainly genetic (inherited from his father). After discussing the possible solutions, Roshan walked out of the consultation room – with one big shattered dream.

Later that evening, Roshan sat at the balcony, staring into the open star studded sky – it was no less beautiful than a neat blanket spread with tiny specks of glittering crystals. This was the first instance in a really long time that he was quiet. The silence echoing from him was too unusual for an energetic and enthusiastic guy like him.

As he was watching an airplane fly past the dark sky, his brother walked in from behind and said –

“Hey! Apart from the good brains, I heard dad gave you some bad genes as well! Well you pilot wannabe, get over it!”

Anger gushed right from the bottom of Roshan’s stomach. Without turning back to look into his brother, Roshan shouted -

“Shut up and get lost before I bang your head! A big head with no brains is all you’ve got.”

His brother stood there giggling.

Unable to bear it any longer, Roshan spun around on his chair, pointed his index finger to his eyes and said sternly,

“He gave me amazing blue eyes! You didn’t manage even that!”

His brother fled out of the room, leaving Roshan to stare into an identical pair of blue eyes – only that they looked remorseful.

Once upon a time...

2008-02-15T01:25:00.004+08:00

I waited for my clock to strike 6, wanting to rush back home and catch my favourite 7pm show on NBC. Today would have been just-another-day in my life if not for her.

There she was, near the parking lot. I walked past her, my head straight, trying to catch a glimpse of her through the corner of my eyes. I walked in a manner I very rarely do - quick long steps, looking hurried. Was it because I feared that she might hear my heart pounding loud? Or did I fear that I might blurt out to her what might one day be the inevitable words from my mouth? Or was this just not the right moment to let her know that I knew not of a world that existed beyond her?

I strode to my car as fast as I could and opened the door to the back seat to put my laptop bag. My heart still throbbed, sending pulses of fear to my entire body. And then it happened. While I was bent down to clean up the back seat and safely keep my bag, I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. Almost thrown off the ground, I found myself staring at her – those beautiful sparkling eyes that for the first time reflected mine.

“Happy Valentines Day Raj!” She said shyly, her cheeks turning pink.

“Hey! Thank you Roshni! Wish you the same. I wanted to come over myself to wish u!” I said, carefully placing each of my words.

“Why didn’t you then?” She asked me, like a kid questioning her father.

“Hmm… I don’t know… I didn’t know how you would take it.” I said, slowly.

“Why? What’s wrong?” She emphasized, as if cajoling me into getting those safely-locked-up-words out of the mouth.

“Welll.. you are a ggrreat friend.. anddd I didn’t want to spoil things between us. Sooo yeah.” I stammered.

She looked at me, right through my eyes. It felt like she was scanning my heart to catch a glimpse of those 3 words that were so strongly etched and hidden in one corner. Those 3 words that I had for 2 years now saved - just for her.

“Why do you think what I think Raj?" she asked me, out-of-the-blue, sounding naughty and affirmative.

“Because I think the same.” I said, with a confidence I never knew I would have in front of her.

“Hehe! Well then, why this hide-and-seek?” She asked me.

The last place that I had imagined having the conversation of my lifetime was my office parking area. It seemed a perfectly strange place to propose to the woman of my life. Finally, deciding that I would not get a better opportunity, I opened my mouth and uttered those words that shall ever haunt me-

“So, is it a yes or a get out?”

My heart raced at a pace it never has since I was born. My world swirled.

“Does waiting for one person for 2 years mean a get out?” she retorted, casually.

Oh God! Who the heck would reply like that for a proposal? I hated the way she always had to make things so complex. Can’t we just break it and go bang – ‘Look-!-This-is-what-I-think-about-you’ and get done with it?

Before I could take my anger any further, my heart was now throbbing with excitement and swarmed with happiness. I wanted to kneel down right there and tell her how much I loved her. I wanted to go atop the tallest building in the city and shout to the world that she loves me too. I had always thought its Bollywood that comes up with such fantasizing ideas of being love struck, but that day, each of my own criticisms backfired.

While I stood floating on cloud nine, gaping at her and still trying to ask myself if what was happening was indeed happening, she stole me of that one ultimate chance of a lifetime.

“I love you Raj.” She said, in a plain soft tone. The words touched my heart before they reached my ears.

“I love you Roshni.” I said. My eyes felt warm. I wanted to cry – cry on her lap.

We stood there, too excited to talk, relishing the new dimension of silence that prevailed between us – a silence filled with meaning, a thousand words, a million symphonies and endless love.

Finally, she broke the silence and asked me to take her out.

“Somewhere. Anywhere.” she said, like a kid. I began to love her more for that innocence.

I opened the front door of my car and offered to her the seat that was meant specially for her. I took out a small poster from the dashboard and stuck it on the rear glass of my car. It was a poster that I had bought in a car accessories store almost 3 years ago. I had saved it for that one day – the one day which I had no idea when to anticipate. I started my car, for that ‘somewhere-anywhere’ that she wanted to go.

Finally, with the two of us, my car rolled out of the parking lot, gleaming with the words, “Princess on Board” at the back.

P.S.: Happy Valentine's day :)

Promises

2008-02-07T18:29:00.000+08:00

The early morning rays shot right onto his face through the blinds of his window. The weather was cool and the warmth of the sunrays only made him cuddle closer into the blanket. The alarm blew off on the desk beside him and he simply popped his hand out of the blanket and put it on snooze. Everyday in Ranjit’s life was a fresh new start – smitten with excitement, pressure, happiness, distress and a constant battle with the one thing that no one has possibly beaten - death.

Being a doctor for the past 10 years had its own effects on Ranjit. He was a changing man – with every year, every day, every patient, every sickness and every cure. Medicine had taught him some amazing lessons in life, one amongst which was to enjoy the whole act of ‘being alive’ before you are taken over by something totally unexpected.

He never really complained about how medicine made him disclose certain unpleasant truths to his patients or their relatives. It was a part of his job and he had by now learnt to deal with it. However, there was one thing that Ranjit thoroughly disliked about his profession. It was the way medicine made him look at each of his close ones in the perspective of what could possibly harm them. There was this constant surge of diagnosis that silently ran across his mind as he mingled with his relatives and friends.

The alarm got alive again and finally Ranjit slithered out of his bed and got himself ready to leave to the hospital. He made himself hot coffee and a few slices of butter toast and got into his car. The radio jarred in his car as he drove just under the speed limit on the highway. Upon reaching the hospital he checked on his patients and went straight to the lab to collect some results.

“So, have you gotten the results of that kid in Room 712?” asked Ranjit. He had his hands locked at the back. Fingers crossed.

“Oh. Yes. That child is positive for leukemia. But I guess we are still in the early stages, aren’t we?” Asked the lady. Her eyes looked at him desperately for a positive answer.

“I think so. I’ve got to see the kid. I’ll see u later. Thanks Brinda.” Ranjit spoke in a broken hasty voice and sped away from the lab to the Room 712.

From outside the glass door, he saw the 15-year-old’s mother reading out a sports magazine to him, as he lay down staring at the pictures in the book. Ranjit knocked the door and walked in.

“How are you feeling Jay?” Ranjit spoke in a soft voice.

“Not bad.” Said Jay excited.

After some morning pep talk, Ranjit had no choice but to come to the tough matter in hand. He called Jay’s mother aside and explained to her that her son was now suffering from cancer and that it was possible to nip it off since the diagnosis had been made early. He quickly dealt with the flood of emotions that followed the dreadful news and assured to do his best. A few minutes later he walked back to the Jay’s bed.

“Anything wrong with me?” asked the kid as soon as he saw Ranjit get into the door while his mom stood sobbing outside the room.

Ranjit knew what to say. It was just going to be hard.

Slowly, his voice broke and he bent down to the kid and said, “It’s nothing Jay. You are sick, like every other person in this place.”

“What kind of sickness?” asked Jay, in a voice demanding the entire truth.

“Hmm… Well. Its nothing that should worry you provided you promise me something.” said Ranjit, looking eagerly at Jay.

“You are weird. I’ve never seen a doctor ask his patient a promise. What is it anyway?”

Ranjit felt cold upon hearing Jay’s words. He continued, “I need you to cooperate with my treatment. I’ll make sure you get back to school as soon as possible. Deal?”

“Sure. I promise.” replied Jay.

Just when Ranjit turned to leave, Jay held his hand and called him back.

“Will it hurt doctor?” asked Jay, his face suddenly turning pale.

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t.” assured Ranjit, patting him on his shoulder.

Looking up at Ranjit in between his eyebrows and holding out his palm, Jay asked him in a whisper, “Promise?”

“Promise.” Ranjit replied holding Jay’s open palm.

Thus begins another story of every patient’s childish fear, every relative’s flawless hope, and every doctor’s faithful promise.

Lost Identity

2008-01-09T15:07:00.002+08:00

* This story has been selected for publication and hence removed from the page *

P.S. 1: Wishes for a wonderful new year! :)
P.S. 2: My first attempt at a long story. :)

God of Small Things

2007-12-17T00:27:00.000+08:00

The small matchbox-like house was dimly lit. The aroma of agarbathi intoxicated the entire house. She was lying on the bed wearing a nightgown and reading a tamil novel. As soon as she heard the door bell, she knew it was him. Carefully, yet swiftly, she got to her heels, peeped through the nearby window to ensure that it was indeed him and then went over to open the door. Gopi smiled at her, enquired about her health and headed straight to the bathroom. By the time he walked out of his shower, she heated idlis for dinner and had them ready in his plate. They quickly had dinner and retired to bed. They narrated to each other about their day’s chores.

When they were in bed, she noticed him holding his head in pain. She silently got up once again, picked up the pain balm and gently massaged his forehead. His reflexes weren’t too quick that night. He was too tired.

He gently held her arms and said, “I’m ok. Don’t stress yourself. Come. Let’s sleep.”

With his hand tenderly clutching hers, she continued to massage his head and said, “I have been sitting at home all day, doing nothing. You are the one who been busy all day. You need to relax.”

He opened his weary eyes, put his hand on her stomach and spoke softly, “That’s nothing compared to what you have been bearing in your stomach for the past 9 months. I can’t wait to see who you have hidden in there.”

She pinched his cheeks naughtily and rested her head on his chest. He was drawn into a slumber feeling the warmth of her blush on his hairy chest.

P.S.: A fresh, cute and tiny new addition in our family! My cousin is a proud father of a girl! And yes! Me the proud aunt! :D

Two for Joy

2007-12-12T15:16:00.000+08:00

HIM: Sorry I’m late!

HER: I’m tired of listening to this everyday.

HIM: From next time, I’ll say it with a glass of glucose drink for you. Oki? :D

HER: Thu! The look that the others in the bus give us when we get in. Damn!

HIM: Oh! That is a “made-for-each-other”envy look honey! :D

HER: I so believe you! You know how disgusting it is to ask the bus driver to wait for you?

HIM: It’s because YOU say it that he waits darling. If I tell him the same thing, he won’t give a damn. L

HER: Crap! He’s a nice driver. You better get him some sweets for New Year this time.

HIM: Are you asking me to flirt with him? Anyways, if anything remains in my pocket after your weekend shopping and I manage to watch at least one movie of my preference, I’ll probably think about it. :D

HER: You mean to say, your pocket is developing holes bcoz of me. In that case, I’ll go shopping with Janani.

HIM: Oh! Really? Then take me also with you sweetie. Pleassseeee!

HER: Arggghh! When are you ever going to mend your thoughts? You are no more single. Got it?

HIM: Yeah! No more single, ready to mingle. Only double, getting ready for trouble. :P

HER: Oki enough of your early morning punch lines. Btw, what reason have you cooked up for coming late today?

HIM: Oh! Appa gave me some bank work on the way and amma asked me to pay the electricity bill.

HER: Why don’t you wake up early if you know you have to get these done?

HIM: That’s because I don’t have my beautiful wife to wake me up and give me bed coffee. :D

HER: Oh! Is that some kind of a hint? Don’t you even dream about it. You know what all responsibilities I’ll have after getting married.

HIM: I’ll tell you something. Keep it a secret oki? (whispers) In spite of all that, you still won’t give up that gossip every night with Janani. :P

HER: (angry) Yeah, its just like the Saturday evening cricket match on the streets which you refuse to give up.

HIM: It keeps me fit sweetheart. A smart wife needs a smart husband, doesn’t she?

HER: I know you play in the streets to show off to that pathetic girl in the opposite flat.

HIM: Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you. This morning, I saw her wearing this green salwar. Wow! You should have seen that.

HER: (glares at him) So, that’s the real reason why you were late today huh?

HIM: No no. Listen. I was wondering how gorgeous you would be if you wore the same salwar.

HER: Ohoo! So you noticed her dress and you didn’t bother to comment on the dress I am wearing today.

HIM: Oi Cindrella! You are the most beautiful woman in this world. I can tell this any time of the day.

HER: Well, tell these exact words in front of your mom and I’ll prove to the world how no man can love a woman like you do.

HIM: Nobody can love you the way I do honey. Anyway, that’s a bad game. Don’t pull my mom into this sweetheart.

HER: Poda Mummy boy.

HIM: Oki oki. Why is our conversation always getting into some vicious circle of me vs you.

HER: That’s because you and I fell in love during an inter college debate competition.

HIM: Hehe! Oki oki! Quick, look outside. (points his hand outside the window up into the sky)

HER: (looks out) What’s it?

HIM: See see. You are so hot, the sun itself has hidden behind the clouds.

HER: (knocks him on his head) Nonsense!

HIM:Hehe! One small request honey.

HER :What now?

HIM :Whenever you scold me, can you just do it with a smile so that the others think you are only cajoling me?

HER: (smiles) Get used to it! :P

P.S.: Dedicated to Nandoo and Sat who turn Man and Wife on 13th December, 2007. You guys make such a lovely couple! Can't wait to hear you guys whisper "Finally!" at the wake of tomorrow. God bless you two! :)

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

2007-11-07T20:43:00.000+08:00

BANG! BANG!

“Will you two make it fast? It’s getting late and it’s going to get crowded.” Hariharan shouted from outside the wooden door of his bedroom.

He had been waiting in the hall for almost an hour now, switching channels one after another. From BBC to CNN to Animal Planet to Cartoon Network to Sun TV. Whenever he happened to pause at Sun TV, two female voices would emerge from the adjacent room asking him to pause so that they could at least listen to the dialogues or the song. Damn! Nothing had the power to disinterest him as much as listening to cinema stars giving an interview in their palatial homes, hugging their dog throughout the show. He was a movie freak himself, but his interest in cinema lasted nothing more than those 3 hours at the theatre. He found it funny to explore the personal life of the stars. It’s a celebrity thing; he finally told himself.

He heard giggles from the neighbouring room and went closer, leaning his ears on the door.

“Shuuuusshhh! He’l be listening to us through the door.” One voice spoke out.

He knew it was her. She always seemed to know what he was upto. He wondered if his male aura was powerful enough to send waves of information about him to her. She was an expert at guessing everything that went on in his mind, right under his nose. Was it serendipity? No. It was like shoplifting. He had always blamed her for stealing a part of his mind along with his heart.

The ladies he fed in his house were nothing short of a notorious pair of females who gave him all the trouble in the world and tested his patience much more than his manager did. They would tease him whenever he spoke to his mom over the phone, as if he were a cry-baby crying to see his mother. The three of them would physically fight over the tv remote - the two ladies pulling it from one side and he, the solitary fighter at the other end who would always give up.

His life at home seemed like living in some kind of a battlefield, only that he was fighting against the two best ladies of his life and he enjoyed it. As much as he whined about all their pranks, he loved it. He loved the laughter that vibrated all around him, the mischief that stood an epitome of liveliness and the happiness that made the four walls of this house a home.

“I’l wait outside. If you two don’t make it in the next 10 minutes, I’m leaving you behind.” He threatened.

He knew those words would hardly get past the door. They giggled once again. Whenever they did this to him, he felt like venting all his anger at them when they got out of the room. But he had never succeeded in that mission till date and he knew very well, that he wouldn’t win it this time as well. Pitying himself, he walked out of the house to dust his car.

One of the chores he never gave up, even after rising up the ladder in his professional and personal front was dusting and washing his car. He seemed to enjoy the whole process of cleaning up his car. It was like taking care of a kid. Driving a neat sparkling car was so much of a relaxation for him.

After what seemed like 15 minutes, while he was bending down to dust the headlights, a tiny finger knocked him on his shoulder. He recognized the touch and forced himself from turning around. He was making a pathetic attempt at feigning anger. He was in fact grinning, looking at the headlights which were now crystal clear and reflected a cute image of the girl behind him. Suddenly the small hands held his and pulled him right towards them. He turned around only to be face-to-face with the angel of his life.

His 5-year old daughter stood in front of him, holding her mother’s hand in one and her long skirt in the other. She was wearing a blue silk skirt and blouse that her grandma had gifted her for diwali. Half a dozen blue bangles jingled in each of her thin hands. A tiny bhindi shone in the middle of her thick black eyebrows. A neat line of kaajal accentuated her big, round beautiful eyes. Tiny gold earrings dropped from her ears and a pearl pendant adorned her neck. What stood out most were the two ponytails that stuck out from the top of her head, each of them held with a blue rubber band. From one of the ponytails hung a string of jasmine flowers that came all the way down to her eyes.

He kissed her on her tender cheeks and lifted her up in his arms. “So, this is what took my two-horned devil so much time to dress up huh?” He said, winking naughtily at the little girl.

His wife stood beside him waiting to be noticed in the new sari.

P.S.: Happy Diwali :)

Tere Bina

2007-10-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

He sat alone in the middle of a crowded dim-lit dhabha – the dhabha to which Rajeev and Sanjana usually sneaked out from home. He felt lonely in spite of the presence of so many people. Sometimes, life seems all about a few people, the absence of whom makes us feel as if the whole world were depopulated.

A waiter placed the menu card on Rajeev’s table and stood by his side. Without much interest, he flipped through the booklet sized menu card. He saw all their favourite dishes listed one after another – the ones she monotonously ordered whenever he took her out to a hotel. He missed her even more.

Finally, he realized that the waiter was becoming impatient. Probably he was thinking that his customer was an illiterate. If Rajeev took another minute to place his order, the waiter might probably start listing out all that’s there in the menu card like a nursery kid enthusiastically singing her newly learnt rhymes as if she were the only one who could recite those lines with such perfection.

“One masala dosai and one filter coffee.” He said at last.

The waiter vanished even before Rajeev opened his mouth to ask for a glass of water. Had she been there, it would have been a Chola poori or Kotthu parota or Kaima idli with Masala tea. The cleaner would have a tough time cleaning up their table that would be laden with atleast half a dozen plates. He didn’t feel like having any of these without the poor girl who was skimming through each of her meals as if it were her duty. She was merely surviving on a diet that most often consisted of a calorie-conscious vegetarian burger and a big mug of fat-free milk. He sighed.

After having had his rather mediocre meal, he stood in the queue to make his payment. There was a small rectangular slate precariously leaning on what seemed like a flower vase. On the slate was written – “Today’s special – Chola Poori”

His lips curled into a sarcastic smile. Rajeev felt happy that he had sacrificed it for his sister. Eating that Chola poori wouldn’t have given him half that happiness.

P.S. 1: Mild ice puttings for my cousins. Dun’t mind oki. :D

P.S. 2: Save some crackers for me boys. :D

To where I belong

2007-10-18T19:28:00.000+08:00

She lay curled on the bed, her eyes half open. She could smell the amritanjan on her forehead still lingering around her. It was quite early in the morning, a time even before dawn itself was awake. The window curtains were drawn apart and the beautiful white crescent shone on the dark black blanket of sky. A few stars twinkled, trying to outshine one another.

Her throat was parched. Looking for the flask of warm water kept by her bedside, she made an attempt to raise herself from bed. Her knees and elbows let out a crackle powerful enough for anyone to expect her entire skeleton to collapse. She pulled her eyelids tight together and twitched her face in pain. Slowly turning to one side, she lifted herself with both hands on the bed – a mighty effort on her part. The nerves running along her neck became more prominent as she gulped down the warm water in thirst.

She took the bead chain that lay beside her pillow and began to run them one-by-one between her index finger and thumb. Mumbling something as she did so, she kept staring at the sky as if expecting one of the stars to drop right beside her. Maybe not the star that was twinkling so far up in the sky, but the star of her life – Sanjeev.

It was now a little more than 2 years since he was gone – flown across oceans to complete a master’s degree that would earn him more reputation than it would if he had done the same course in his home country. He might never come back again she thought, or at least that’s what her neighbour’s gossiped. They said that he would settle there, earn in dollars, get married and raise kids who would speak their own mother tongue with an accent. It was all too hard to digest.

He had called her up a week ago only to whine about her how much he missed her during his graduation ceremony. Not having received any more calls since that one, she was puzzled. She comforted herself to the fact that he was probably busy and began to recollect the lovely moments she had had with him. Bedtime epic stories. Granny’s fast math techniques. Forced mridangam class. A bowl full of curd rice with homemade mango pickle. Chill sweet water from mud pot. Street games with pebbles. Plucking flowers from the garden for everyday puja.

Memory seemed like a funny thing, especially when it reflected a timeline of events in as short as few minutes, giving her the feeling that her 60-year old life had just whizzed past. She opened her eyes and looked out of the window once again. An aeroplane hovering in sight disturbed her silent journey of her own past. Cursing the loud noise, she got back to chanting.

Little did she know who was waiting to jump out of that flight and surprise her.

P.S.1: Miss paati, especially during a festive time such as Navrathri. Can't believe this is my third year sans celebrating navrathri, ganesh puja and diwali! Damn! :(

P.S.2: Missing amma's sundal is another :P

The Wait

2007-09-27T15:05:00.000+08:00

A few minutes after his phone call, she sat at the corner of her bed fighting the tears in her eyes and the lump in her parched throat. With shivering hands, she began her letter.

That’s the last thing I wanted to hear. That’s the last thing I wanted to imagine happening to us. It wasn’t a very tight rope that I was clinging onto. It took Herculean effort on my part not to have expectations. I feigned that I was merely hoping that it would happen as soon as you promised. I admit.

Wasn’t it you who said that ‘if something has to happen, then the whole world would conspire.’ Now, it’s the same damn world that is conspiring against those small dreams which we secretly dreamt. Why should God who brought two souls together, enjoy the forlorn show of watching them shed tears as they long for each other from two parts of the world?

If this separation is the price I need to pay to be with you, so shall it be. For, sometimes, it’s all about giving up something you really want now for something you want for your entire life.

The last time you left me with your words of assurance that you would be back as soon as possible, I knew how much you meant it. I still know how hard you are struggling to make it. This is just to let you know that I’m with you through this rough patch.

Today, when that little hope we were hanging onto came trashing down, you so casually ask me if I would wait for you, very well knowing the obvious reply you would hear from me. If hearing it from me all over again makes you feel better, here I repeat myself,

“If not for you, the wait wouldn’t be any worth.”

Without wax,

Anjali

As she was folding the letter, a restless drop of tear inevitably fell upon the white sheet; blotting into a bigger dot and making the word ‘hope’ appear wriggly. She rewrote the word, folded the letter and mechanically scribbled his address on the envelope.

“This is just the beginning…” she thought, as she was making her way back from the post office, “The beginning of our struggle to be together, forever.”

P.S. 1: Loved the use of the phrase ‘without wax’ in Dan Brown’s Digital Fortress. Been waiting to use it in somewhere.

P. S. 2: Btw, it means – Sincerely (derived from the Spanish word – sin cera).

Reality

2007-09-20T14:30:00.000+08:00

1991

Today was yet another hot day. Nonetheless, an eventful Friday it has been.

I was waiting outside the school gate, trying to spot my little daughter in the sea of excited kids. During the last 15 minutes of her final period, she would frequently look out of her classroom window to check if I am waiting outside to pick her up. Tears would well up in her eyes, if I fail to make my presence before the last bell rings.

Finally, I saw her waving out as she ran up to me. She was just as neat and fresh as she was when I dressed her up in the morning – a few fringes falling on her forehead and her ponytail dangling behind her back. A white handkerchief with light pink flowers, neatly folded into a quadrant, hung from the right side of her shirt. A white badge bearing her name, class and section was pinned up on her left. She walked with a lot more energy and enthusiasm than any other Friday usually instilled in her.

Handing over her lunch bag to me, she exclaimed, “Amma!!! Know what? Sharadha miss gave me one extra star for the chart we did yesterday.”

“Wow! That’s good!” I said, holding her tiny palm with my free hand and making my way out through the swarm of parents, grandparents, maids, autowallas and school kids.

“So, are we going to the beach today evening?” She asked, looking up at me and meddling with the bangle on my hand. The dark kajal in her eyes were just beginning to show up beneath her lower eyelids. I simply nodded, trying to draw my attention to the busy road and carefully get across.

She completed her weekend homework well ahead of time, in anxious anticipation of going to the beach, only to be spoilt by Rajeev’s late arrival from office. Time was a quarter past seven. My father-in-law insists that we do not go out to return late in the night. The beach plan had to be dropped.

“We can be there for just half an hour and get back. We shall go. Pleasssseee!” She pleaded. Her tone and request was too sweet to be ignored or rejected.

“We are not going today Roshni. Its late already and the beach gates close at 7pm.” I lied, with no other choice. I knew it was a funny thing to say. Rajeev was laughing behind my back.

Roshni’s face instantly withered. She has been sitting with the new copy of ‘Gokulam’ that Rajeev got for her on his way back. She’ll be fine when I tell her what I’ve made for dinner today.

2007

While having my late night shower after our return from the beach party, I remembered a strange incident that happened when I was in nursery. I wanted to talk to my mom and find out if she remembered it as well.

As she picked up my call, she started off with her usual, “Where are you?” question as against the general “How are you?” As I went on ranting about the day’s highlights, I told her about the beach party and bang came her autoreply, “So late!!”

This was my chance! “Apparently, beaches no longer close as early as 7pm like they used to 16 years ago.” I said sarcastically. Bang! I could imagine her hitting me on my head with her knuckle. We both burst out laughing.

Shakespeare in love?

2007-09-07T15:25:00.000+08:00

There it was, at last! That which she had been expecting for nearly weeks now. Incessantly had she been taking care of them and here they were, bright and beautiful. Just like a new-born, fresh out of a shower.

The first blossom of the season. The first rose in their small garden.

She gently pressed her nose against its gentle features and let the fragrance flow into the depth of her rather old lungs. She ran her fingers through the perfectly knitted petals of the rose. The morning sun rays blazed between them and shone on her wrinkled palms. She could sense the tender, wet surface brush against the tip of her nose. She felt a drop of dew blot the corner of her lips as she kissed one of the petals.

A man in his late 50’s walked from behind her, his shadow throwing a cool shade upon the old lady and her new found attraction. She slowly turned around to look at him. Her twinkling divine eyes and finely curled lips echoed a zillion unspoken words, which only he could decipher.

He looked at her ardently for a while, establishing a lovely connection with her mesmerizing eyes that were hidden behind a pair of thick, foggy spectacles.

Just then, they heard a voice from their neighbour’s television-

“Her eyes – I was born to look into them and know myself.”

His focus slowly moved down to her rosy lips.

The dialog from the neighbour’s television continued -

“Her lips – the morning rose could wither on the branch if it could feel envy.”

Back in the garden, a beautiful voice emerged from within the effortlessly moving lips, as she whispered in his ears – “Happy Anniversary!”

The voice from the neighbour’s house spoke out in the background –

“Her voice – Deep. Soft. From her twittering lungs. I could banish nightingales in the garden before they interrupt her song.”

Far away, stood a young man, with a video camera, shooting the lovely scene of his grandparents falling in love, all over again! Kodak moment!

P.S.: Inspired by the movie – Shakespeare in Love. Damn good!

Who am I?

2007-08-23T17:27:00.000+08:00

I gently rubbed the cotton damped with alcohol on his wrinkled upper arm. Straining my weary eyes, I looked for a vein in the already pale arms. Finally managing to locate one vein camouflaged between the distinct lines of wrinkles, I pierced a sterile needle into his skin. Assured that I had got in deep enough, I began to suck blood into the syringe. Together, the old man and I watched the dark, thick blood rise up the syringe. His glucose level figures for the previous week were fresh in my memory – 150 for fasting and a whopping 310 after a meal. His blood viscosity was thickening as well. I silently prayed for better results this time. Nurses have a soft side that is often overwhelmed by their show of resilience.

Giving him a warm assuring smile, I gently drew the needle out, emptied the contents of the syringe into a labeled test tube. I passed it over to the lab on my way to the maternity section in our hospital. A 4-day infant suffering from jaundice lay half-naked in the phototherapy incubator, the UV light making its yellow skin even brighter. The kid’s forlorn mother tiptoed behind me into the room, waiting for my approval. Medical rules are ones that even an illiterate would seldom fear breaking. She was more than eager to catch a glimpse of the result of her 10-month-long ordeal and breastfeed her kid. I could write stories of the mother’s agony, just by taking a glance at her eyes. They portrayed a desperate craving and anguish of a kind that no egoistic woman would curse another of her breed to suffer.

This wasn’t unusual to me. I waited outside. Once she was done, I guaranteed that her child would be fine and smiled. I had to move on. There was a patient in ward 235 ‘waiting’ to undergo dialysis in the next few minutes. This was going to be her fifth sitting. Another compulsory 3-hour nightmare she was forced to go through by her beloved family. I bet she would have rather wished she had prayed to die a peaceful, painless death instead of praying for her son’s promotion or for an ‘obedient’ daughter-in-law. Just when I completed setting up her dialysis, my senior nurse called for me to report for an emergency labour case.

This has always been one of the most exciting, painful and suspense-filled part of my career. It’s amazing how just a period of few minutes enlightens one to the inevitable truth of nature that life is the most precious gift on earth. I consider it a supreme power - a creation, surpassed only by creation itself. As my heart skipped a beat at the prospect of attending to my 10^th labour case of the month, I was stopped by this 12-year old kid who was getting back home after a week-long stay for his acute knee fracture. I stopped in my tracks and gave him a hasty I-have-got-to-rush look.

“I loved the story u told me while plastering my leg yesterday.” He said, giving me a wide naughty grin. I shamelessly reciprocated with a quick smile.

“What do I call u?” He asked me, out-of-the-blue. “Uncle?”

The last glance that I had of his pearly eyes posed the same question that each of one my patients were tempted to ask – whether to call me brother, similar to addressing my female counterparts – sisters.

“Foster Father!” I replied, pecking him on his overgrown hair and sped towards the labour ward.

P.S.: Again, I is not me :D

The Crown

2007-08-16T00:41:00.000+08:00

She brushed her jet black hair behind her ears, pulled the longer strands into a tight, high raised pony and stood staring at herself in the mirror. A tiny pimple had erupted just below her lips. She twitched. Splashing cold water onto her face, she looked at her reflection more closely, hoping against hope that the pimple would have disappeared merely by the touch of water. But it sparkled right there, like dew upon a blossomed flower. It could do nothing but further accentuate her fresh morning glow. Innocent of this fact, she silently cursed herself for having eaten that extra bar of chocolate. Wrapped in a light blue towel, she stepped on the weighing machine. The needle pointing at 55.5 refused to come just a few millimeters down to 55. She cursed again, but this time the Cadbury's company. Damn! They make such amazing chocolates.

Heaving a huge sigh of disgust, she leaned on a chair - her face neatly plastered with a pure white scrub that outlined her eyes and thin rosy lips. Each of her sparkling blue eyes was hidden beneath a slice of fresh cucumber. Her perfectly chiseled feet were immersed in a bucket of warm water. As she relaxed herself in the lingering smell of jasmine scented olive oil, her mind brought in front her, pictures from the news last night – beautiful ladies walking elegantly on stage, one amongst whom was crowned Miss World. It was impossible to refute the fact that she craved to catwalk on that stage, representing her country. Bold and beautiful. Sadly though, it wasn't to happen anytime in this lifetime.

Having to bring up a family of two sisters and a widowed mother, she had greater responsibilities to shoulder. Shattering her childhood dreams of becoming a beauty pageant, she went on to study engineering in a government college, amidst half a dozen proposals, each one of which she turned down, followed by campus placement with a leading software company. Sometimes, she felt God was just playing pranks with each one of his creations. His generosities indeed were very thoughtful, but at times, totally unnecessary. Or so she thought. She had everything it took to become what she desired for, yet such a mishap kept her far from her naïve dreams. Choice was a tough thing, especially because each one came with a unique and sometimes even a surprising consequence.

Thinking of dreams, of home, of her mother and her long-gone father, a drop of tear rolled down, leaving a trail on the dry remains of the facial scrub on her cheek. Her skin had become stiff. She removed the cucumber from her eyes and looked at the wall clock. She was late. She had to attend to an on-site call in the next thirty minutes. With no other choice left, she cat walked for her morning shower.

Butterflies

2007-08-04T01:26:00.000+08:00

6^th December, 1995

I woke up quite early today. I think I had a dream, but I can't remember it now. Amma was surprised to see me wake up so early. She saw my eyes and said I was tense. Mummies are female magicians I think. Amma made bournvita for me and coffee for herself. I checked my bag once again if I had all that I needed for the evening's show. Appa woke up just then and asked me what I was 'rummaging' in my bag. I didn't understand the word he said. I think it means 'to mess up'. I didn't have time to look for its meaning in the new Oxford dictionary he bought for me. That can wait.

I called up my friend Sita and asked her for the 5^th time if she is coming for the show. She promised she will come. But still, I keep asking her again and again. I hope she is not angry with me. I don't think she will be angry. She is a very patient and good girl. Lalitha maam always says this when she meets Sita's mom in the Parents-Teachers meeting. I am very lucky to have Sita as my best friend. Our class Seema is jealous of our friendship I think. I don't like Seema. I didn't invite her for the show tonight.

I called up my paati to check if she left. She was packing. My cousin told me she will leave soon. After this, I practiced once more. My teacher told me to practice in front of the mirror so that I will not be shy. I like my teacher a lot. She gives me homemade chocolates if I do well. I told my teacher to sit next to my mother in the front row. But she said she will be backstage. Even amma will be backstage and help me change my dress. I am feeling nervous. Something is happening in my stomach. My English teacher told me butterflies come in our tummy before we go on stage. The butterflies in my stomach have come very early.

20^th April, 2004

It's been a roller coaster ride for the past one week. Adding to the rehearsals for my performance tomorrow, I have been submerged in neck-deep work at my workplace. I am yet to start packing. I guess I have become overconfident over these years. Everytime I pack for my performance, it reminds me of amma. She used to maintain a list of all that I needed for the show. I still have that piece of paper. It's torn off at the ends and looks so brown that I could complete packing by the time I decipher what's written on it. My mom has been insisting that I print out a copy, but I am either too proficient with the list or too lazy to do it. I guess it's more the latter than the former.

Over these years I have learnt to cover up for whatever I miss out on packing. When I had forgotten to pack my lipstick for the show last month, I sat chewing strawberry lollipop as I combed my hair. Infact I liked the naturally pink lips rather than the artificially painted glossy ones. Amma doesn't know this. This is one of those delicate secrets that precariously dangles by the tip of my tongue like a small chip of rock on a cliff. She would say I was much more responsible when I did my first arangetram 9 years ago. Now, every performance feels like a completely new experience. As the applause reverberates through the entire auditorium, a tickle runs through my exposed hands and sides of my sweaty hips.

I smile to myself. While one part of my mind appreciates the level of perfection I have attained over these years of dancing, another half goes on a flashback spree pointing out the minute mistakes that I committed during that show and wonders if anyone would have noticed them. It has not been so easy to be someone else and imitate their emotions with accuracy. Sometimes I feel I don't do justice to the role. But, I guess I should get soaked in that character to completely absorb the emotions.

One thing that has remained unchanged for the past 9 years is the fact that I still get butterflies in my tummy, hours before I step onto the stage.

P.S.: The I is not me :D

Colours

2007-07-27T19:33:00.000+08:00

Among the few places that Sara hated to visit was the hospital. The smell of a clinic's ambience was one of the reasons she decided not to take up medicine. The choices, the risks, the anxiety, the tears and the pain were all too much to take in for a sensitive girl like her. She didn't quite like the idea of working in a place where there always existed a battle between life and death. The worst experience she had had at a hospital was still plain and lucid in her mind.

She was 18 years old then. She was sitting by her grandmother's bedside one evening, when her grandma was struck with cardiac relapse. As doctors and nurses rushed to the old lady's rescue, Sara stood weeping in one corner of the room. Reality struck hard. She felt helpless. While her grandmother's heart beat began to lose velocity, Sara's heart began to throb faster. The irony sucked. Not only did she lose her grandmother that day, but she felt robbed of all her powers. She swore not to enter that hell again.

Today, 5 years later, she was back to the same place. Images of the past came spiraling in front of her eyes. The drug store, the ambulance, the patient ward, the bed, the ICU, the bedpan, the syringe, the face mask – everything reminded her of her grandmother. It felt like torture. Like a silent killer. She was sure she wouldn't have the strength to take it this time. A tiny bead of tear gracefully found its way out of her beautiful eyes. She held the hand of the man lying in bed in front of her and clutched it harder. He slowly took his other hand on to her gentle cheeks. He could feel them hot and moist. He wiped the tears off Sara's cheeks, gently ran his fingers down her face and pulled her towards himself.

Just then, a nurse opened the door and said, "The operation theatre is ready maam. We need to take him in." Lying down in bed, Sanjay said, "Give us a minute." The nurse closed the door behind her and left them alone once again. Sara rested her face on Sanjay's chest and began to weep harder. He kissed her on her forehead and melted his fingers into her long silky hair. As he stroked her hair, Sara asked him, "What is the first thing you want to see when you open your eyes?"

Sanjay said, "Sweetheart! The only colour I have been seeing in these years of darkness is you. Once I see you, I am going to be ashamed of how less beautiful I imagined you to be. You are the most beautiful woman in the world I could see till now. And I am sure you are the most gorgeous woman in the world I am going to see in a few hours. Hold your breath honey. I will be back soon and we can look into each other's eyes."

He paused.

This time a drop of water squeezed its way down his eyes, like a butterfly struggling to find its way out of its cocoon. And then, he continued,"You are the first thing I want to see when I open my eyes darling. Its only you that I want to see." He kissed her once again.

In the next few minutes, Sanjay was pulled into the Laser Eye Operation Theatre and Sara sat in a bench outside, fingers crossed and eyes closed. She was going to be in Sanjay's dark world for a while and was determined to open her eyes, only when Sanjay was ready to see this world for the first time in his life.

Rocky

2007-07-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

I glanced at the clock for the 6^th time in the past 5 minutes. Today was one of those unfortunate days of the year when the clock seemed to tick slower than time itself. It seemed to be cheating me. Teasing me painfully. It held me back from forgetting the past, desensitizing my present and escaping my future. I felt frozen in time – flooded with the same spectrum of emotions. Finally, the small needle in the wall clock pointed at 8 and the long needle sluggishly shifted to 6. It was time for his call.

The 8 o' clock news ended and commercials began. My mind had hardly focused on the news today. I shifted uneasily in my seat. I knew I was nervous. I felt ashamed of calling myself a mother of two kids. However hard I tried to constrain my emotions, they seemed to envelop me even more powerfully. I felt clumsy. I hate it when such unpleasant emotions cajole me into their possession. The events of the day had been tormenting me like an innocent kid caught in a room full of smoke. It chocked. It hurt.

I had barely managed to prepare 5 ways of breaking the news, none of which satisfied me. How could I? Whom could I turn to for help? Nicholas Sparks? Rowling? But then again, they might just be capable of synchronizing the right words so that I could spill the truth in the most polished fashion. It was going to hurt anyway. I sat next to the telephone table, nervous. Just then a thought struck me. Maybe I could lie to him, just once.

However, the very thought of deception made me feel guilty. Even before I could prepare myself to bluff, my conscience began to itch. It engulfed me into some kind of an invisible gravity that pulled me from falsehood. I wasn't going to be able to do this, unless my son makes a birthday wish that his mother could tell lies for one whole day. Jim Carrey's Liar Liar was having its due impact on me. As if transporting me back to reality, the phone rang. I identified his number in the caller ID. I picked up the phone after 4 rings.

"Hellooo!!! Hi ma! Dinner over?" He enquired. He sounded happy.

"Yes dear. How about you? How was your day?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice from shaking. I knew I was being pathetic at the attempt.

"Yes ma. Done. Grandma made rotis for dinner." He said cheerfully.

As our conversation began to build up, I seemed to get even worse with my tone. My voice began to drown within the lump that was building up in my throat. Finally, he shot me with the inevitable question.

"So, how is Rocky? Did you take him for his evening stroll?" He asked. Today, these words sounded like gunshot right into my ears. Every time he asks me this question, I know how much he misses our pet. Rocky misses him too.

Rocky has been with us since Ajay was in his 2^nd class. Ajay has always loved dogs and wanted a German Shepherd. When given the choice of a cycle or pet, he picked Rocky. Ajay didn't mind walking to school or for his piano lessons. For the past 3 years, Ajay has been taking excellent care of Rocky - taking him out for walks after dinner, playing with him, talking to him first thing when he got back from school, bathing him with the car washing hose pipe every Sunday morning, disciplining him to be a good friendly dog, buying him the best dog biscuits and treating him more like another member of our family. He saved all the money that he got for his birthday and Diwali, borrowed a little from his sister and built a kennel for Rocky. He used to tease his elder sister saying that Rocky barked better than her. It used to turn her wild. One of Rocky's first angry paw mark on Ajay's chest still remains. He says it's the symbol of their togetherness.

Last night, Rocky died of an electric shock from a live wire that had fallen outside his kennel due to the shattering rains. The unusual silence in the morning when the milkman knocked the gate told me something was not quite right. The thundering rains had muted Rocky's squeals of pain. Rocky was gone. The kennel is now empty. Our home is empty. Ajay is going to miss him forever.

After a lengthy, uncomfortable moment of speechlessness, my voice broke. "Oh! Yes, I did. He is good." I lied. I was bad. I knew it.

"I don't hear him barking. Has he gotten back to his kennel already? Its too early for him, isnt't it?" He questioned, like a topnotch lawyer utterly sure that he was going to bag this case in his favour.

I remained quiet. I was fighting a cold war with myself holding myself from spurting out the disastrous news. It would have to be unveiled soon enough. I wanted to postpone it. Maybe I could just hold on and tell Ajay about Rocky once he gets back home for the weekend. But, it was going to hurt as much then, as it would now.

"Amma! What happened? Are u there? Is everything ok?" He shot back. He sounded suspicious.

I bit my lips so hard with my teeth that I was beginning to taste my own salty blood ooze out of the corner of my lips. My tongue refused to come to terms with my mind. I was losing my own battle. My voice ultimately sought refuge in confession. Even before I knew what was happening, I realized that I had blurted out to Ajay about Rocky's ill-fate. Like a pack of cards falling down one after another, emotions came crashing down. I cursed myself. The truth remained that I could not lie to him.

My words were replied with sore silence. I could hear him whimper. I could imagine his warm shiny pearl of tear. I could feel his numbness and then, finally, I heard him scream Rocky's name aloud.

'Rocky cant hear anymore.' I thought.

I wish I were wrong. Rocky could perhaps be barking in angry retreat and maybe only Ajay could hear his friend. Maybe...

The first kiss

2007-07-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

The image refused to come into view. His eyes strained themselves to catch sight of what lay beyond the hazy figure.

This was the Kodak moment he had dreamt about all these days. He had got a digicam specially to shoot this very moment. As months turned into days and days into hours and hours into minutes, his anxiety grew by leaps and bounds. Pity he was not there to enjoy it. Probably it was God's way of not letting him witness the terrible pain and suffering that one goes through before this very moment. Suddenly, he felt so incapable of balancing his personal and professional life.

Finally, as the blur image came into perfect focus, he saw it - a half-naked tiny version of himself, draped in a small white piece of cloth. It was a part of him. It was a part of her. It was a part of them. The pink skin, round cheeks flushed with blood, sharp nose like him, brown magical eyes like her, tiny fingers and toes – everything about the baby seemed perfect. Big things did come in small packages. His eyes slowly shifted to his wife. He saw her weary yet cheerful eyes as she held her boy close to her chest. She was now a complete woman. A proud mother of their son.

His baby looked so inviting to be kissed. He could clearly see the veins run through its soft cheeks. He gently touched them and ran his fingers along the outline of its tender cheeks and gently pinched its chin. Just then he realized that he could only touch them. It was impossible to feel them. A few months back, he had felt this naughty kid kick his mom's tummy. But today, he was oceans apart from his kid, staring at a dynamic image of his baby projected from a webcam. As he sat admiring his baby on his computer screen, his mind wondered if he had to thank technology for this innovation or curse it for making him feel so helpless and distant.

Just then, the radio in his room blared with the song, "It's a small world afterall." He felt like slamming a pair of nasty shoes into the singer's mouth and breaking the radio. But right now, he was more desperate to steal a kiss from the sleeping junior.

Start, Camera, Action!

2007-07-09T20:36:00.000+08:00

This was not the first time in his life that he felt so nervous. An electric pulse seemed to radiate through his entire body, exactly from his heart. So clear was the epicenter of this excitement, that he could pinpoint its location, take his heart out and show the world how rapidly it was working, trying to cope up with all the tension around. This was the moment he had been waiting for so patiently for the past few months and this was also that very moment that made him tense. He wasn't half as cool today as he was when he was called for a disciplinary meeting with his college principal. The irony remained that, today he was guilty of nothing, yet, it seemed impossible, not to wriggle as he stood in the stage. He had for long wished to direct a movie and authoritatively say, 'Lights! Camera! Action!' Now it was his turn to be on the other side of the lens and under focus. The limelight. Every dog has its day huh?!

"Don't do that. The camera is on us. Don't you realize it?" snapped the girl next to him with a say-cheers-for-the-camera-smile. He looked at her with a tense grin. She was gorgeous. He failed to resist his temptation of taking his eyes off her. Her authentic dress, neat make-up and dazzling jewels seemed to accentuate her beauty. Damn! His eyes had to look elsewhere. Suddenly, he felt a light pinch in his hand. It was his sister. She gave him a sheepish smile and gestured him to look at the camera. He turned back to the camera and forced to show off his trademark smile.

When he was given a very generous break by the camera men to relax for a while, he sat on what seemed like a sofa-morphed-into-throne kind of seat. The girl sat down and gave him that heart-warming smile which had the undeniable power to melt his throbbing heart, any day of the year, and any time of the day. Man! This was dangerous! As he tried hard to wander his gaze through the pool of happy faces, his eyes caught a few friends, his cousins, his nephew, some relatives whom he had probably met when he was in primary class, his neighbours, his colleagues.

Finally, his eyes fixed on a big white board that stood just outside the hall's door. The golden words engraved on it were clearly visible from where he was sitting. It read, "Karthik weds Kavitha". Until this day, he had thought that these boards were just a safety precaution to ensure that you enter the right wedding hall. But now, the very same board seemed to carry so many other deep rooted meanings. A fresh journey. A new zest to live. A reason. Hope. Desire. Togetherness. Love. Eternity. He felt the spearheading gush of exhilaration proliferate through his body once again.

Time was up. He had to stand up to face the camera once again. But this time, he felt much more confident. He gradually seemed to get over his cold feet. He smiled naturally this time. Afterall, this was the day he had been looking forward to and this would be a unique moment of his life which he would cherish forever with the lady who stood by his side. He was the hero of the day. He had to pose like a gentleman; else his kids would make a mockery out of him, if they managed to get hold of his wedding CD.

P.S.1: Dedication to a special person, KK who enters into marital bliss with a beautiful and wonderful woman of his life. Wish you guys a happy, romantic, exciting and everlasting married life.

P.S.2: I missed the wedding fun. Till I hear from the devil's mouth about his wedding stories, I thought I would take my imagination for a ride - at our hero's cost of course! :D

Morkozhambu to Mozarella - a Voyage

2007-07-03T19:51:00.000+08:00

The entire place was dimly lit with a crystal chandelier artistically decorating the ceiling. As he looked around for a place for himself, he saw happy families enjoying a grand dinner, babies seated in high raised chairs, mouth dripping with their soup, a group of businessmen whom he guessed were here directly from office, a gang of good old friends chatting about their college life and young couples occupying the corner seats each of whose faces was neatly outlined by the candle light on their table. A waitress guided him to a table-for-two, offered a menu card and poured water into his glass.

The menu was not so promising for vegetarians like him. The same old words ran through his mind – "Not again." This vacation, he was determined to learn cooking from his mother. With not much choice left, he placed an order for a mozzarella pizza with veggie toppings. As he sat there enjoying the serene landscape outside the window, his mind began to wander beyond the seas.

His memory began to flood him with mind pictures of the roadside dhaba where his friends used to join him for aloo paratha. Pictures of the beachside, boys selling raw mango slices seasoned with chilli powder raced through his mind. The tea shop guy came next. He used to give 2 extra biscuits with the hot masala tea if one paid him 50 paisa extra.

The most interesting of them all was the lip smacking Sunday lunch at home. His mom used to make a sumptuous whole meal from starter to a sweet for dessert. It was one of those rare days in the week when each member of the family got to enjoy their meal chit-chatting with one another. He imagined how he would let the rasam flow through his fingers and lick them. He would fight with his brother over the last piece of spicy cauliflower Manchurian. The thick curd rice topped up with hot mango pickle would be so inviting to the tongue, but the stomach would refuse to take in any more.

His thought flow was interrupted by the waitress who stood with a plate of pizza. She placed the spoon, fork and knife in places-they-ought-to-be, smiled at him and said, "Enjoy your dinner sir!" He smiled back at her in acknowledgment. After a few minutes of struggling, he managed to cut a slice of the pizza with the knife and took it in his mouth with the fork. As he let the cheese melt in his mouth, he looked around at the pool of happy faces. Each one of them had something to enjoy and feel good about.

He put back the fork and knife on the table and pulled the next slice with his naked hands. Now, it tasted a little better.

P.S.: Sorry for being so irregular. My intern project is keeping me really busy. On top of all this, my zebrafish are refusing to give me enough embryos for my experiment. Guess i will have to take flowers for them or play romantic songs! Sigh!

Paandi vs Play Station

2007-06-06T08:14:00.000+08:00

Raj pulled a tissue from his bag and wiped away his sweat. He adjusted the airconditioner to its maximum. Though he had managed to leave his office earlier than usual, he had had a tiring day nonetheless. It was such a relief to step into the cool ambience of his car from the scorching heat outside. As his driver maneuvered the car through the thick traffic, Raj opened his office file and began to go through some papers. As the car turned into a signal free street, Raj put back his file into the bag and looked out of the window. Déjà vu.

Dirty knees. No shoes. Brown torn shorts. Matted hair. Parched throats. Red sweaty faces. Fresh air. Mayhem. Excitement.

Some boys were playing on the mud piled in front of a construction site. One guy stood by the corner of the road winding thread around his top and then let it go in a swift snapping fashion. The others around him exclaimed ooh's and aah's. Another young fellow was rolling his cycle tyre with a long stick and seemed to race with the car. Few girls, threw stones and were hopping on some sort of a matrix* neatly drawn with a piece of brick. They quickly ushered one another to the side of the road as they saw the car coming.

Suddenly, Raj jolted in his seat as his driver honked the car loud. His driver was desperately trying to overtake an overloaded autorickshaw carrying school children. The automan literally stood on the pedal trying to move his rickshaw forward. Raj was stung with anger at his driver, but simply gestured him to stop honking and wait until he got enough space to get past the slow vehicle. When he finally reached home, Raj for a moment thought he had either entered a battlefield or an INOX theatre playing a war movie. He was wrong. It was his 10 year old son, seated by the edge of the chair and ever so sincerely engrossed in his Play Station. His son was too absorbed in the game to even notice his father. Raj felt a lump in his throat and a surge of guilt. Raj slid his hand onto a game CD in his bag, a gift from one of his colleagues for his son's 10^th birthday. He wished it had been a top. Raj pushed the CD back into the bag. No. Not this time.

He told himself, 'Never underestimate the power of denial.'

* That's the best I could describe the street game 'Paandi'. I loved playing it! :D

Love Actually

2007-05-19T22:59:00.000+08:00

The morning sun shone as bright as it ever did in the city of Chennai, especially considering it was the month of May. The rays pierced through the window like bright needles from the blue. It was not just another day, definitely not. This day, 22 memorable years ago, she entered into marital bliss with a person she had not spoken a word to and had looked at for an embarrassing 3 seconds. Strange was the way how certain life-changing decisions took shape - paying little importance and consideration to the opinion of the person concerned. But trust and hope was all that was needed then.

Twenty two years had now passed. She lay on the bed beside the man of her life and asked herself, “Has anything that you have done made your life better?” She looked at the person beside her and simply smiled - the answer was right here. In fact, she corrected herself, “He is the best thing that has ever happened in my life.” She recollected some of their best and worst times together. She realized how ultimately, they had managed to pass the test of a true relationship – to disagree but to hold hands, always.

Feeling wonderful and special, she finally pulled herself out of bed, careful enough not to disturb him from his deep slumber. She enjoyed her warm shower to its very last drop. Draped in a light green sari, her wet hair tied up inside a towel, she began her usual chores of the day. She lit the lamp in the puja room and placed the kumkum in the middle of her forehead. Among the many things that she could do perfectly, this was one. Every time and anytime of the day, she could keep kumkum in the middle of her forehead in a prefect circle - and most importantly, without looking at the mirror.

She walked into the kitchen, chanting slokas and began making coffee. Within a few minutes, she heard sounds from her bedroom and knew that her man was up. The irony remained that in all these years, he most often awoke to the intoxicating smell of filter coffee, rather than the annoying whistle of the cooker! She grinned to herself and began cutting vegetables for the day’s lunch. As she was on with her work, she realized how beautifully and interestingly their lives had intertwined into one another. This reminded her of a quote, “An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” She badly wished the author of this quote would walk down to their home so that she could prove his words wrong.

Continuing with her work, she acted as though she hadn’t noticed her husband behind her back He came up from behind and whispered something that she had least expected him to say that morning. He breathed into her ears, “En coffee enga di?” (Where is my coffee?) Fighting her emotions for having to face such a dramatic beginning to the eventful day, she pointed to the dining table. Just then, something managed to catch her eye and she looked back towards the dining table. Standing there was their daughter. In her hand was a bouquet of red roses and a bunch of balloons. Handing over these to her mother, the girl wished them a Happy Wedding Anniversary.

The beautiful woman looked up at her husband and blushed. Spontaneously, he embraced her into a warm hug and winked at his daughter from behind. His daughter smiled back at him and gestured a thumbs up. She left them to themselves in the kitchen and walked back into her room. For the first time in her life, she realized ‘What an amazing feeling it is to discover that you know another person as good as you know yourself… and sometimes even better.’ Her parents proved the best example.

P.S.1: My parents celebrate their Wedding Anniversary on 22^nd May. Just thought of dedicating this post for them.

P.S.2: It was quite ironic that everyone (except me!) seemed to celebrate the fact of me turning a year older! My heartiest thanks to all those who dedicated posts for my birthday and wished me. Special thanks to those awesome gifts that surprised me. Thanks a ton guys! It means a lot to me. Huuugggzzz!!!

Of Chocolates and Cocktails

2007-05-09T21:46:00.000+08:00

Siddharth finally got through security, called up his parents from the free phone and bid them a final goodbye, assuring them that he would give them a ring once he landed in his destination. As he cut the call, he felt a heavy lump build up in his throat. However hard he tried, he couldn't erase the image of the tear beaded eyes of his mother. But now, there was no turning back. It was the first time in his life that he felt sick about doing what he had so badly hoped and wished for.

At last, the boarding call was announced. He took a deep breath as if this were his last chance to breathe the air of his homeland. Nervously, settling in his aisle seat, he fastened his seat belt. He finally realized what it felt like to have butterflies in one's stomach. He remembered mocking at his class girls when they told him about how they felt butterflies in their tummy before an exam. Well, till now he had believed that for all the junk food that he ate; his stomach was only home to a family of diverse microbes. But now, he was happy to find out that there was also a mini garden deep within him that attracted butterflies! Gosh! He felt funny that his mind was capable of coming up with such strange ideas even during the most nervous of situations!

A few minutes before the flight was ready for take off, an airhostess came to him with a tray of chocolates and with her usual i-love-an-overdose-of-lipstick-smile asked, "Toffees for you sir?". He smiled at her, picked up one toffee and said thanks. While he was unwrapping the chocolate, his mind flashed scenes of his first flying experience. It was one of the most adventurous incidents in his life. He was traveling all alone with his younger brother. Siddharth had always been proud to give the "big-brother" image and this first aeroplane travel opportunity, all alone with his younger brother, seemed to rest upon him lots more responsibility and pride.

Naughty boys as they were when young, Siddharth's parents made sure that their mischief be kept within the four walls of their home, which most often went in vain. When outside home, their parents would adopt sign language to warn or instruct the guys. One particularly interesting sign language was how their mom would look at them and speak with her eyes whenever they went to a friend's house. If the aunty in that house offered them anything to eat, the first thing that the guys would do would be to look at their mom and wait for her signal to take the offerings. That apart, their hands would already be digging into the plate of snacks. It made no big difference actually.

When that day they were all by themselves on their first flight, the airhostess came up to them with a tray full of chocolates. Having gotten too used to looking for their mother's approval before accepting any offer of food, the younger one looked puzzled and stared at Siddharth. It was not the first time that Siddharth felt a burden of responsibility to guide his brother, but it was definitely the first time he realized the depth of regard that the young one had for him. That innocent sparkle in his brother's eyes was the most beautiful thing he had seen for years. Smiling at the young one, Siddharth gave his consent and they each took one. The airhostess gave out a short laugh and said, "Is that all boys? You can take as much as you want!" All excited about the new found liberty, the two guys grabbed as many toffees as their two little palms could hold.

Spinning back to the present, Siddharth realized that the plane had already taken off and they were now flying at a decent altitude. The airhostess walked to his seat with her drinks cart and asked him to choose his drink. He simply said, “Bloody Mary” and smiled at himself.

P.S.: Sorry for posting at really bad intervals. Have been held up with exams and my intern. And yeah, been wanting to tell u guys one great news! My blog won the "Best Blog of the Day Award" on 29th of April. A BIG thanks to all of you who have been patiently reading my random ramblings! Huuugggzzzz!

A Walk to Remember

2007-04-23T23:09:00.000+08:00

Ram sat staring at the specimen under the microscope and the values projected in his computer. The results were slightly different from his previous attempts. They were infact strikingly interesting. However, he realized that these new set of numbers and microscopic figures only raised more difficulties rather than what they managed to solve. It had the unbelievable ability to make him doubt himself. But that's the way it had to be. Research was challenging and that's exactly why he was upto it. His only motive in life was to spend it for something that could possibly outlast life itself.

It was Ram's 24^th birthday when his father took him to an old age home for the first time. Unlike guys of his age, Ram did not get to spend much time with his grandparents. When he was in primary school, he would envy his friends who used to be accompanied home by their grandfather, while he would be picked up by their house maid. That birthday made a huge impact in his life. He realized how pathetic certain people's life turned out to be. The totally antagonistic attitude of these people was quite surprising to this young man. While some of them looked hopeless, others were hoping against hope that they would have a better life, as if they had just begun their! Ironic!

There was one particularly interesting old man who impressed him the most. He had the strange feeling that their lives had touched with a purpose. It was his meeting with this person that gave him the motivation to pursue his research. All that was required of him was patience and hard work. While on his research, he made it a point to visit this old man every week. Every time Ram went to meet him; he would take with him a gift that the old man had asked Ram in his previous visit. But the old man would wonder why Ram came to him with gifts. Gradually, work took over Ram's weekends too and he was unable to visit the old age home as frequently as he did. But that made no difference with the old man. He was as puzzled to see Ram then, as he had been when they met for the first time. Ram could however completely understand why the old man felt that way.

It was Ram's 25^th birthday and he made sure that amidst all the birthday plans and treats that his friends had been nagging him for, he had the time to visit the old man. It was now nearly a month since he had last been to the old age home and exactly a year since he had first been to this place. Early that morning, Ram washed his car and drove to the old age home. He entered the brightly lit room by the corner of the corridor. The old man was seated in his study desk by the window. He didn't notice Ram walk into the room. Ram's eyes caught a yellow sheet of paper that was peeping out of a book lying on the bed. The ends of the paper were torn and Ram could bet that they were at least 2 years old. He could only read the first few lines on the paper and they said – Things to do before I die. 1) Make a cup of coffee for Ranjini. 2) Get Akash the toy car he asked for on his 5^th birthday. Ram immediately recognized that Ranjini was the old man's wife who passed away 6 months ago and Akash, his 15 year old grandson in America. Ram wondered if that list made any sense to the old man now. He encountered a sinking feeling in his heart.

For a moment, the microscopic figures and the numbers that he had encountered in his lab the previous night flashed in his mind. The worst thing that Ram ever wanted to feel was to wake up one morning, thinking that if he had known everything, he might have done something different. Bringing himself back to the present, Ram gently rested a hand on the old man's stooped shoulders and stood there with a warm smile. The old man however continued to read the book in his hand. Ram had seen him read this book every time he paid a visit and more so, he never seemed to finish the book. On certain days, Ram even found him on page 14, while the previous week he would have been on page 48. But again, Ram knew that he hadn't completed the book even once and he could understand why.

After a short while, the old man closed the book and placed it on the table. Ram managed to catch a glimpse of the title of the book. It said – 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven' By Milch Albom. The old man looked up at Ram and gave him the same perplexed look. Ram introduced himself as he always did and offered the box of sweets in his hand. After a short conversation, Ram felt a new renewed vigour. Ram realised that his research on Alzheimer's had to be given a boost. He wasn't going to wait for success, he had to move ahead without it. Just before leaving, Ram took the old man's trembling hands into his and they walked into the nearby garden. Far across a rainbow appeared and it looked more beautiful than ever before.

p.s. 1: Am halfway through that book. Very impressive. Try to read it if you get a chance.

p.s 2: My blog's 1^st year completion. I was wondering if its in the same state as Ram's research! :)

A Million Little Things

2007-04-14T14:51:00.000+08:00

She sat by the corner of her window, wrapping up the last lines in her letter –

"….and remember? Not once have u tried to console me when I was low. I loved the way you teased me, laughed at my ponytail, trying to cheer me up at those times. I guess this is all as much true today as it was that day. Those seemed like fleeting moments of eternal happiness. They came like a shooting star and vanished as quickly. How I wish time froze then. I miss you tons! Take care. Good luck for your exams and keep in touch!

p.s. You better not reply in 2 lines like last time. Or else, when we meet during semester vacation, you won't go back to college in the same shape. Like you always say, 'Dangerous girl!'"

She read through her letter once more and then sealed it with glue. She walked to the nearby post office and posted the letter. While on her way back home, she lost herself in memory of the days they spent together in school, 10 years back. The first time they met was in class 5 and their class teacher made this naughty boy sit next to her. It was the worst day of her life, or atleast she thought. They spoke little. Not even a part of their text book or a speck of eraser dust would be allowed to fall on the other's desk. And then, one day it happened. He came to class with a sling supporting his hand. She was instructed by the teacher to help him take down notes and so, she reluctantly obliged.

That day, over lunch, she softly asked him, "How did u manage to get that fracture?"

He smirked at her and said, "I thought this would be a cool excuse to make you take down notes for me!"

The next moment, he found himself holding his tooth in his palm and said, "Thath thooth haz bin shakin for a wik now. Dhanks for gettin itt off!" While one half of her insisted that he deserved it, the other half was shocked and guilty with the turnover of events. While she apologized to him, he winked at her and said, "Dangerous girl!" It was the first time they looked into each other's eyes and smiled.

They slowly grew into the thickest of friends. While she would teach him how to factorize polynomials, he would teach her his '20-best-excuses' for walking in late to class. She would draw diagrams for him in his biology record, while he would play book cricket. She was surprised how he managed to remember every member of the cricket team in the order of their batting line up, while she struggled to memorize the first row of the periodic table of elements.

That aside, the best part of their day was the lunch break. She loved the curd rice that his mom packed for him, while he loved the rotis that her mom sent. He would help her finish off her box of slimy ladies finger curry, and in turn, she had to drink up his bottle of chilled milk. But life's norms dictate that one better not get engrossed in the rosy side for too long. In their 9^th class, his father decided to shift him to another school closer to their home. That day she sat in one corner of the class, her face buried beneath her skinny arms.

He came up to her that day and said, "OMG! Look at your cheeks!! So damn red! Were you preparing to act as a clown in the circus?" She glared back at him and he continued, "Now come on. Stop this. Else I am going to start on how your pony is beginning to curl behind your back. See I can even hang my school bang in it!!" He pulled her pony and well anticipating her reaction, prepared for a dash. Her cheeks turned red with anger. She sprinted behind him along the corridors and down the staircase, until they finally reached the football ground and she could run no further. He stood jogging at a safe distance from her, laughing.

She sat in the middle of the ground, panting for breath and hot with anger. Finally, trying to control his laughter, he came up to her and offered his hand. She held his hand and lifted herself up. Once she was up, she gave him a tight fist on his tummy and he burst out laughing again. They walked across the ground to the canteen, and he got her an icecream. So easy it was to cool her down. Before they parted ways that day, he kissed her on her forehead and cycled towards his home.

She stood there watching him go. It was then that she realized how his entry represented a whole new world to her, a world possibly not born until he arrived.

My Tag Rag Day!!!

2007-03-28T20:53:00.000+08:00

Hiii peps! Hope you are doing great. It feels like ages since i really communicated with you guys. Been a bit lost in my own world. For the past couple of months, life has been quite a roller coaster. Learnt a lot of lessons. Got bitten a few times. Enjoyed the rest. Well, i also managed to surprise myself with a few things. I guess that's what they refer to when they say - 'half your battle is won by just making the decision.' So yeah, its going to be a long march ahead for the next one month with exams and assignments covering up on me. Also, the long pending good news that i had kept from you is about my internship. Its like a dream work place for me and will mean a lot to my career. Though i am taking just a day's break after exams to start on my internship, i am quite excited about the project. Well, to pep it all up, i hope to save a few dollars from the pay to get a cute gift for my grandma! :)

Oki, now to the post. As usual, i am being mercilessly ragged by tags.

This one is from R.S. anna - The tag asks me to randomly select a blogger and describe about their blog in general and also discuss any particular post that inspired me a lot. At the end, i've got to tag 2 people.

The blog i chose - Gils' Marypoppins

Description - Simple, sweet, most often long, yet cajoles one to read upto the end, straight-from-the-heart types, thought-provoking, crazy at times, ruthlessly random, teasers, cute comedy types, very expressive, a perfect blend of the mega serials and anecdotes ranging from the 'kittu-maama' genre to the sci-fi type, occasional jaw-dropping brainwaves. And my personal favourite is the spontaneity and the personal touch in his posts.

My fav among his posts - Ode to Nice Guys
Frankly, i guess this is one post of his that i totally fell in love with. The post talks about a certain set of boys whom Gils' calls 'nice guys'. He goes on to dedicate this post to these guys describing their kinda life and reveals some trivial, yet fundamental facts that have been shadowed. I am sure anyone who reads this post will be able to relate to one such person in their life - be it themselves or their friends. Its a very simple and straight forward thought that was wonderfully crafted with apt metaphors. That post made me realise how ignorant we are of certain small and intricate issues with regard to relationships. In Gils' style - an ultra cute post! As for the inspiration part that the tag demands - well, it inspired me to write this post! :D

I tag Mask Harish and Sat! :D

The next tag is from Barbi - I have got to list 10 things that suck about my college.

First the boring academic reasons -

1) The 'bell-curve' based relative grading system. At times it makes me feel as though 25% of my fate is dependent on the class of 350 students. (Yeah, yeah, just like Bangladesh's fate in the World Cup was dependent on India's performance.)

2) The 5 pointer system which looks at anyone with <4 as big time losers.

3) The 'you-are-anyways-going-to-wash-test-tubes' kinda attitude with some profs, that at times shakes your foundation.

4) The compulsion to study cross faculty modules involving Singapore studies which totally turns off a pure-science blood like me. I would love to do arts like painting, sketching or origami instead of history.

5) Adding on to the workload, there is also the compulsion to participate in co-curricular activities so that you can be assured of hostel accommodation for the forth-coming year, which again is based on a points system.

6) The freezing cold lecture theaters and examination halls that neither allow you to concentrate nor to sleep in peace, no matter how many jerkins you have.

Now to the more interesting ones :D

7) The Welcome parties and society get-together's offer mostly non-vegetarian food. So vegetarians like me are only left with the choice of drinking diabetics-friendly juice or bland veg salad.

8) Over populated with fair guys. Only a handful of tall, tan and handsome guys who are to my taste - most of whom are either profs who are married or masters' graduates who are committed.

9) No thair saadam in canteen.

10) Most importantly, campus is miles away from home.

Yeahhhh! That's it i suppose. Take care guys! Hugggzzzzzz!!!

Lost

2007-03-18T17:20:00.000+08:00

I knew never until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had.

P.S.: Nothing in particular. Mixed moods. :)

Too far. But not too late.

2007-03-13T23:19:00.000+08:00

The first time you felt me kick mom's tummy,
So excited would you have been to feel the tremor on her skin.
I wonder if i was as happy as u,
When finally, i got my way out - crying! Phew!

So timid and confused was i that day,
To crawl into your arms,
While you were sporting a long scary mustache,
Just to give yourself the 'father' look! Grrr!

While you took me in your scooter,
I would stand in front following the speedometer.
My light pink frock would flutter in the breeze.
I would roll into a slumber, only to be pinched on my back! Ouch!

You and me were 'partners in crime'.
Be it adding latest hindi cassettes to our collection,
Or chopping my hair short in a men's saloon.
What an innocent face we put in front of mom that day! Hehe!

And then, as i would prepare for my final exams,
You would stay up with me all night,
Under the pretext of reading the newspaper,
Your weary eyes would drag you into a sleep. Snore!

Just when i would think that i couldn't get better,
You would prove me wrong.
The day arrived when finally my dream morphed into reality.
Was it a pearl of joy or a tear of separation that i saw in your eyes?!?

That's when I felt that the only place i could call home,
Was where you are.
It was the first day of my life when i realized that
I was missing you more than i thought was possible.

I am no longer looking forward to the day when you would get me an air ticket to pursue my dream, but infact i am eagerly waiting for the day when i would get an air ticket just to fly home and lay down on your lap. Till then, your love would sure give me the strength that i never knew i had.

P.S.: Dedicated to appa. Sequel to my dedication to amma.

YOU are reason enough for my wait!

2007-03-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the thing you didn't expect is what you have wanted afterall. Its like giving yourself a sweet surprise. You think about how it all shaped up and the only answer you've got is a smile. Well, you eventually learn from it. Its all about "giving up something you really want now, for something you have wanted for your whole life." At the end of the day, its about resisting the temptation, b'coz, the only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance. In the midst of all this, there is this one person who has seen you through the crux of every moment of your agony and struggle to reach this goal.

Now, it is that time when you tell the person how much they've touched your life and added beauty. Those gestures of love, care and motivation could only be from them - a true masterpiece sent by god, just for you. Infact, you spend less time with yourself so that you can spend more time with this person who means so much to you. Though you are miles apart, the day is not far off when you shall celebrate this success together - and that too for the first time! Waiting could be painful. But, life is so much different if you didn't have to wait for those sweet moments. It would lack the suspense, it would lack the pain, it would lack the excitement that surges when the dream wait turns a reality.

That friend now asks you for a reason why you are hoping and waiting to meet each other. The only reply i can think of is - "Aren't YOU reason enough?" If that doesn't suffice my dear friend, read through this post again for the bunch of reasons hidden and pick your favourite! :D And you know what? If you aren't too long, i shall wait for you my entire life, for, you are that one rare person for whom i am hoping and waiting. Huuuuuuggggzzzzzzzzz!!!!

P.S.: Dedication to a wonderful friend, You-Know-Who

Reminiscences re-lived

2007-02-20T20:40:00.000+08:00

Life at hostel and at home can be drastically different, especially when it comes to preparing for exams. For the past year an a half, while staying in the hostel, exam time would mean, night outs, irregular eating patterns, cramming with books in one corner of a dungeon that you call room and whining about exam papers amongst friends. Its the time your tongue craves for the most unusual food. Its difficult to tell if the brain is cajoling the tongue to control its sudden temptation or if the tongue pleads with the brain to focus on studies. All that the brain can think of, is to google and atleast take a look at those sumptuous delights. But all that the tongue would get is the bland canteen food. Only the tummy is happy about the whole series of events - atleast you didn't let it starve. Damn, life sucks during exams!

After nearly two years, now i can completely feel the difference that it makes to sit at home and prepare for exams. The last time i did this was when i was preparing for board exams and the umpteen college entrance exams. Now, as i prepare for mid-sem exams at home, its like re-living those days (nightmarish though). In a way, it does seem really nice. You wake up at 9 in the morning (which may be too early if u were in hostel). Then even before your eyes could fully open, the first thing you wish to see is the day's menu! :D Later, you are greeted with a hot cup of bournvita even before you finish brushing. Appa is just then getting ready to leave for office and you can hear him murmur some advice to you, while you are still enjoying your steaming cup of milk with the newspaper. In between her puja slokas, amma urges you to shower and get along with your studies. Finally, after an hour of wandering around the house and stealthily sneaking small cubes of roasted potato curry, you realise that food would be offered only after a shower. Phew!

After a nice early lunch, amma is off for her afternoon nap. You sit with your lecture notes only to be feeling drowsy. The only activity that can keep you from falling asleep is to sms friends who are sleeping in college and you begin to nag them! :D Even before half the previous meal has been digested, amma wakes up and sincerely serves curd rice and potato curry. So once again after eating you try to get into the groove and start studying. Exactly an hour later, its tea time! Its accompanied by nice hot bajjis! :D Now, the sun has gone down a bit and you decide to move to the terrace and study. Cool breeze blows on your face and lets your hair fall on the forehead. Terrace is a wonderful place to study and so is it to get distracted. Aunties come and go to remove the dried clothes from clothes line, some enquire about your life abroad, uncles walk in to check the water tank, boys come to play, occasionally giving silent glances at you. You begin to watch aeroplanes and start guessing the airlines and where they might be flying to. You see the birds getting back to their nest. For a moment you wish you could be that crow, flying and flying, with no exams or assignments to worry about. Then you begin to admire the beauty of sunset. Slowly, as night creeps in and mosquitoes begin to attack you, its time to get back into the house. Dinner would be awesome rotis with delicious subji. Then its chat time with appa. As people at home retire to bed, you realise that you havn't done productive work for the day. But then who cares. Atleast you ate well! :D

Well, its not often that one experiences the term - 'History repeats itself'. That's exactly what i am going through now and i cant refrain from describing this feeling. Life has been so different for the past year and half. It feels so special to re-live those moments of the past, that you never thought you would. As ironic as it may sound, university and education have the capability to surprise you and show to you those qualities that you never thought you possessed. But its kinda cute.

The Story of Sugar and Spice

2007-02-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

Its not unusual that you find yourself piled up with so much work that it wouldn't be a surprise if your middle name were 'procrastination'. The tasks in hand would literally overflow out of control, that you might even wonder if your grocery bill is as long as your to-do list. Come-what-may, you may be the type who is obsessed about keeping your working ambience clean, but now you can do nothing about the dungeon you are working in. You might have to just walk on the rubble, helpless. Time can be such a killer. Just when you are done with one job and would like to take a break, you notice that the break is only haunted by the next task that you are going to undertake. In the middle of all this mess, when you thought that you have had enough for the day, the closest of friends might surprise you with an unexpected bad news. Probably your friend just thought that it would be fun to humour you when you least expected it and make your day complete. So sweet!

Now, if there was this friend to whom you turned to at such times, it might just happen that this person is also held up with something. You very well know that this is the opportunity to cheer up your friend, but the otherwise-hyperactive brain of yours is now devoid of any ideas. In a futile attempt to bring a smile across the friend's face, you might only be found fooling around with the emoticons while chatting. In spite of all this, you might manage to get yourself into those moments of sweet nothings, so that you could just relieve yourself out of the stress. But when it all ends, you are back to square one, trying to get the 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle together. Its like this unbreakable vow - there is no escape and no choice. That's when you begin to feel all cheesy about yourself. After a long hard day, you finally, think its time to crash and pull the blanket over yourself, only to realise that you are hungry. Its endless and its routine!

Though its true that somethings are bound to be what they are, its a great thing when you realise that you still have the ability to give yourself those bouts of sweet surprises. So long, you might have been reluctant to get out of your comfort zone. But now, that uncomfortable zone, might not have seemed all that bad after all. The maze wasn't all that difficult to get though. You might feel like a phoenix out of its ashes. When at last you reap the results, you realise that the rewards were worth your sacrifice. Its a deep warm feeling of self-satisfaction. You feel happy that you took the risk. You feel grateful that you managed to give yourself that push and begin to wish that your hands were a bit longer to conveniently give yourself that pat on your back. At the end of it all, you might have just heaved a sigh of relief, but inside you, there would be one spark that would be all set to take on the next ordeal. That's when after a really long time, your mind is calm and free to enjoy the sounds of your favourite music and you would be waiting to spend a quiet moment by the seaside, with the people you love. Its also that time when you experience the eternal bliss of the obnoxious odour of your unkempt room and the taste of the horrible food you have been surviving on for the past few days! Puke!

P.S.: I will be extremely glad if someone can completely relate to whatever i have written. It would just give me the comfort of having company :)

The Tag Trouble!

2007-01-29T01:39:00.000+08:00

A "doctor-to-be" celebrates his bday today! Join in the celebration and lets sing for him a Happy bday song :D

Hiii guys! Hope you are doing good! Long time since i gave you all a warm welcome to my page. Feels quite weird. Anyways, this post is going to be pretty long i guess. So when u have lots of time to kill and the inclination to get to know me better, please continue reading! :) So, here they go - Naked Confessions.

Tagged by Fun2fun: Five things you don't know about me

1) I love driving my bike and my dad's car. In car, i drove at a max speed of 120kmph (Chennai-B'lore highway). Grandad and me thoroughly enjoyed the drive. So did mom, for a change! One of my dreams is to drive in Autobahn, Germany! :)

2) I am extremely scared of gobbling tablets and capsules. In fact, i dont know how to. I bow down instead of keeping my head high! I would rather choose an injection. Seriously!

3) When i was in class 3, i cried so hard for scoring 9/10 in dictation, that my class teacher called my mom for a meeting and asked her not to nag me to score 10/10 all the time! Poor amma! The word that i spelt wrong was "receive" i guess. Still get mixed up with the i and e at times!

4) In primary school, i had a very close friend. She left to Delhi in class 4 and returned to my school in class 9. She had taken my home address and said she would be in touch, but never did. When i first saw her in school after nearly 5 years, i was so overwhelmed! All those sweet memories flooded my thoughts and i went up to her and excitedly asked, "Hi, how are you?" But she couldn't recognize me. That has been the most embarrassing moment in my life. I tried to help her recollect those memories so that she could relate to me. In vain. Now, I don't want to talk to her anymore.

5) I have had 2 minor operations with local anesthesia. Its been the most horrible and nerve-chilling experience! I was holding one nurse's hand so hard that her palms became numb at the end of the operation. Even today, my heart skips a beat when i recollect the doctor's command to the nurse asking her for the scissors and cotton, while i was wide awake and listening!

On to the next!

Tagged by Ganesh: 50 Questions

1. Were you named after anyone?
No.

2. Do you wish on stars?
No.

3. When did you last cry?
A week ago.

4. Do you like your handwriting?
Yes. Absolutely.

5. What is your favourite meat?
None. Am veggie.

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?
Have no such.

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
Depends on who the other person is. (First off, trying to be another person is wasting the person that i am - would never try that)

8.Are you a daredevil?
Not really.

9. How do you release anger?
Vent it to my parents or my best friend. If venting to parents, push down vessels from the kitchen or remove all the newspapers from the shelf. If venting to best friend, speak it out, occasionally using the little bad words i know. Might pinch also! :)

10. Where is your second home?
My room in university residence.

11. Do you trust others easily?
Attempt not to.

12. What was your favourite toy as a child?
Barbie doll.

13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
History.

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Quite often. Also depends on the person and the situation.

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
No.

16.What do you look for in a guy/girl?
Intellectuality, humorous nerve, down-to-earth attitude, sans pretense.

17. Would you bungee jump?
Of course, would love to!

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
No. Unless they are really tight to remove without loosening the lace :D

19. What's your favourite ice cream?
Italian icecreams - Butterscotch and Blueberry flavours

20. What are your favourite colours?
Lavender, Aquamarine blue.

21. What are your least favourite things?
Lonliness, Wet shoes, uncomfortable clothes, falling sick, not feeling comfortable or satisfied with myself, performing below the standards i think i am capable of.

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
None.

23. Who do you miss most right now?
Mom, dad, grandma, Praddy (Since i have personified my home and bike, i miss them too!)

24. What are you listening to right now?
"No need to say a word" by Raaghav

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Lavender

26. What is the weather like right now?
Cool and pleasant with gentle breeze.

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My dad.

28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Eyes and smile.

29. Do you like the person who sent you this?
Know not much to comment.

30. How are you today?
Calm, in deep thoughts and intrigued in work.

31. Favourite non alcoholic drink?
Butterscotch milkshake and ginger tea.

32. Favourite alcoholic drink?
Have tasted none to comment.

33. Natural hair colour?
Black

34. Eye colour?
Black

35. Wear contacts?'
No

36. Siblings?
None

37. Favourite month?
May

38. Favourite food?
Mom's rasam, Dad's vethakozhambu, Hot chips' Paav Bhaji, Gangothri's Pani poori.

39. Favourite day of the year?
All those days appa gets back from a tour. Amma and me are the happiest people on that day. We miss him so much till then.

40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?
Have never asked anyone out. So don't know how i would feel. However, have often nagged my dad, mom and cousins to take me out :D

41. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings

42. Summer or winter?
Summer

43. Holi or Diwali?
Diwali

44. Do you like your name?
Absolutely

45. What book/magazine are you reading?
Brain by Robin Cook

46. What's on your mouse pad?
No mouse pad only :P

47. What did you watch on TV last night?
Didn't watch tv last night. (haven't watched for more than a month)

48. Favourite Smell?
Mom's rasam, smell of earth before the rain, pavazhamalli in grandma's garden.

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?
No.

50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?
The 3.5 hours journey flying back home.

Done! Tks for coming down so far. Cheers and take care. Have a good week. Huggzzzzzz!!! :)

P.S.: Me tags Sat, Gils and Venkatesh. (choose any one or both. Neither is not an option) :D Anyone else who wishes to take it up, feel free to!

The rest is silence...

2007-01-25T16:29:00.000+08:00

The night was cold and windy. The bright star studded sky was only ironic of her current spirits. She sat in silence and in deep thought - not her usual self. Not at all. The nagging melancholic feeling made her uncomfortable. Those that once gave her self-confidence, now seemed herculean tasks. A number of errands stood lined up and lots more awaited her sincere attention. She was dealing with them, one-at-a-time, hoping that she wouldn't mess up trying to multi task.

As she looked out into the sky from the window, her father's words of wisdom echoed in her ears - "And this too shall pass." She felt much better, but the feeling didn't last long. These were the same words that her father used whenever she got over-excited about nothing. Her father's use of puns, at times, were too bitter for her taste. She silently cursed herself for remembering it. Quite contrastingly, her mother's theories were more plain and straight. There was one instance in the past when she was upset and her mother came up to her saying, "Do you remember what was bothering you the very same day, a year ago?" With a puzzled and blank look, she answered back, "Don't think so." Her mother reassuringly smiled at her and continued, "That's the same question i will be asking you a year later and am sure you will have the same answer." It took some time for those words to sink in and make sense to her. Finally, when they did, she said, "Mom! You will make a good lawyer."

She spun back to the present and found herself smiling. Just then the door bell rang and she got up to attend it. Standing there was her best friend. She couldn't have wished for a better person to be by her side at this moment. He gave her the best of his smiles and dropped a chocolate into her hands. She wondered how he could be so cheerful inspite of his current problems. That was one attitude she truly admired in him. He whistled past her, walked in and quickly helped himself with some ice-cold water. She opened her mouth and began, "Hey, you know what?" He mockingly made a swift finger-on-your-lips gesture, like their games teacher in school and settled in the couch with a packet of chips. Turning on the tv, he browsed through the many channels until he finally found his. The next minute, loud football commentary filled the entire hall. She gave him an evil look and repented for having told him that they would feel much better in each other's company. She should have figured out the sarcasm in his voice when he accepted to drop by. She hit him hard with the pillow in her hand and vanished into her room. So different was the way people handled pressure and stress. As for her, it always remained that the deepest of feelings were to be expressed in silence.

The best place to work?

2007-01-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

The hall was flooded with anxious people. Thousands of them. Desperate and impatient. All their attention focussed on the same place. A young pretty girl stood in the middle of the tall crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of the front. 'Thank god i wore heels today,' she thought. A bright red rose peeked out of the side of her black handbag. Beside her was a middle aged woman. She was carrying a 4 year old girl in her left hand, who was trying to free herself from her mother's hold. An 8 year old son stood holding the lady's right hand, desperate to know whats happening beyond the crowd. 'You shall see pretty soon, my dear,' she whispered, stroking his soft hair. An old couple stood in the front row, holding on to the rails. They glanced at each other for a moment. It mirrored an excitement that they had never experienced before. A tall guy stood behind the crowd of people, continuously adjusting his recently coloured hair. In a futile attempt to control his restlessnes, he kept juggling his car key. He had already dropped it thrice.

Finally, the long awaited moment arrived. The status on the display board changed. An unrehearsed, yet perfectly synchronised sigh echoed though the crowd. One-by-one, people walked in from inside, towards the crowd. Each one of them happy, excited and equally anxious. A young gentleman, dressed in casual jeans and t-shirt walked out in swift, long steps. His eyes immediately recognised the fair, tender hands that waved out to him. He dashed straight towards the young girl, gave her a warm, tight hug and slipped a bag labelled 'Swarovski' into her hands. He watched her cheeks turn pink and then kissed her gently. The young man then picked the bright red rose from her handbag and said, 'You forgot to give me this!' She blushed, once again. They melted into each other and forgot about the world around them. Another middle aged man walked out. The 4 year old kid waved out to her father and sprang from her mother's arms. The gentleman took her by his arms, and bent down to kiss the boy, who was still holding on to his mother, meddling her sari's end. The man then looked up at his wife and asked, 'How are you?' She was tongue tied with happiness and gave him a shy, relieved smile.

A couple walked out next, lead by their twin sons. The boys took no time in recognising their grandparents and raced towards them. They were not surprised to find grandpa confuse their names! A small tear of joy trickled down grandma's wrinkled face as she tried to lift one of the twins. Grandpa gave a welcome pat on his son's back and welcomed his daughter-in-law with a smile. Suddenly from behind them shouted a voice, 'Daaaaiiii machaaan!!' A dark and handsome young guy waved out to the tall man in the crowd. Soon they were punching into the other's tummy and teasing each other's new looks. And thus, the whole place was filled with greetings, smiles, hugs and kisses. A few metres away, stood a man in uniform. He was holding a mop in his hand and beside him was a bucket of soap water. He looked at the crowd of happy and satisfied people and said to himself, 'Mopping the arrival hall is so much more fun than the departure hall.' He smiled to himself, adjusted his 'international airport staff' tag and continued his work.

Black box material!

2007-01-04T01:26:00.000+08:00

Hello peps! How have u been? 2007 has been good for me so far. Hope u all had a good start to the new year :) Btw, you guys must bear with me for my irregular blog visits and delayed posts. Oh come on, as if anyone cares! Anyways, i had a neat reason - vacation time :D However, classes will begin soon. Lots of things got to be organised, mended, few to religiously continue, handful to be totally eliminated. But i remember resolving not to soliloquize my resolutions, lest i land up breaking them! Damn! Another one broken! *Phew!*

Lets plunge into the topic of this post. Last evening i had been to 'Big Bazaar' that's recently opened up in Chennai. Its another one of those shops that claim that they can offer Kheer at the price of milk! Marketing brains i tell you. It can be an interesting experience though, if you wanted to watch people sit down on the floor, tired of shopping! The wiser ones would rest on a sofa or bed! Yeah, it belongs to the 'all-under-one-roof' category! :D

Well, as appa, amma, grandpa and me were going around the shop, we noticed one guy open up a pack of chips, emptied it and threw the cover! As if that were not enough, i overheard a conversation between a lady and the vendor. The vendor was mentioning about a free crockery set that they offered for a purchase of above Rs.2000 on weekends. The lady spontaneously asked him if she could leave her stuff, get back to it during the following weekend and avail the crockery set for her 2000+ bill! For some reason, those words sounded like - "Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."

Aging in style

2006-12-21T15:33:00.000+08:00

The sun peeked from between the branches
Morning dew adorned the leaves like pearls
Amidst this verdant landscape is outlined
A quiet and gentle figure.

With thick glasses perched low on the nose
Lips monotonously chanting.
Wrinkled fingers making artistic movements
As they turn colourful balls of wool into sweaters.

An epitome of wisdom and enthusiasm
A living mirage of the times that have passed
Beautiful old people - a work of art.
No wonder she is called ‘grand’mom.

Amazing real life stories. Cute fables. The warmth of her lap. The divine sparkle in her eyes. The tongue tickling food. She is so much fun to be with – loving, caring, soft and practical.

P.S.: A dedication to my dearest grandmother.

Milestone 50...

2006-12-15T01:24:00.000+08:00

Five years ago, appa returned from his overseas trip. A new teddy sat in the suitcase, ready to be hugged. So damn cute. Seems like just yesterday since "Jammy" entered my life.

Three years ago, a brand new scooty sprang to life. Today, as i push the dust off her, she stands and winks at me before we begin our journey. Seems like just yesterday since "black beauty" entered my life.

A year ago, lappie dear walked in. Stuck ferrero rocher stickers all over his shining silver crust - he's been amazing company. Seems like just yesterday since "Ferrero" entered my life.

Few months later, music blared in my ears. A black i-pod it was. Nothing could have been a better gift for the musically obsessed me. Seems like just yesterday since "Ferero" entered my life (couldnt think of another name for her!)

Nine months ago, in came another new world of difference - virtual this time. Little did i realise that this too could add so much spice to life, find me a new set of friends and shrink this huge world, so much so that they could feel what i felt. It all began with this poem -

A Reason to be here!!

To relive those precious moments,
Flooded with joys unprecedented
And emotions unparalleled,
I enter this new world
Where glimpses of the past and
Hopes of the future,
Turn into words of the present
And here I present to you,
A reflection of the true me -
"Ecstasy Re-lived"

Seems like just yesterday since "Ecstasy Re-lived" came into existence.

P.S. : My 50th post! :D Tks a ton to all those who have been patiently going through my ramblings :) Hugggzzzzzzzz! :)

Another end.. another beginning...

2006-12-07T17:06:00.000+08:00

Happppppppppyyyyyyyy Bday to Rumz !!! Have a blast diiii!!!!

Hellllooooooooooooooo peoplessssssssssss!!!! My exams for this sem finally came to an end on wednesday and since then, i have been on cloud nine!!! Yahoooooooooooooo!!!!! Jolllyyyyyyy!!! My room has been blaring with music. I have been singing along and jumping around my room. At last, it feels so nice to be back to my hyper-excited state from that hypertensed state! To add to all the excitement, it poured cats and dogs that evening - a perfect way to begin the hols! Also, i bid goodbye to our indian stall aunty. She was really pleased that i informed her about me goin back home for vacation. :) My frnd and me then went out for some window shopping and had an icecream! We went around laughing like maniacs, rewinding all the fun that we had this sem. She has been an awesome friend throughout this semester, been there at all times. Loved her company. Completely. Am sure gonna miss her for the next few days. Oki, those apart, am now ready to take offfffffffff!!!! Yipppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Cant wait to see people back home. I've literally instructed people at home with all their chores, mom - to make rasam and my fav curry, dad - to stock the fridge with butterscotch icecreams, cuzns - to have completed preparing for exams, coz their sis is comin over to freak out with them! And yeah, i cant wait to lay my hands on my dad's car and my bike! :D Whoaaaaaaa!!!

Oki, this time, i havn't really thought about a good blog topic to post (as if its been good so far!) Phew! Anyways, i thought i would just put down a part of the conversation my frnd n me had b4 our last exam (molecular biology). Here it goes...

She : hi di.. exam prep how?
Me: so so di.. shit scared! u?
She: hopeless di... mcq na, i will use the elimination method...
Me: hehe.. same pinch!
She: dat also dont work na, then spy wid my little eye :D
Me: hehe... to an extent me too depending on the person beside me...
She: heeheeh... seri.. tell ur seat number no
Me: ***
She: other exams n all u sat anywhere near ^^?
Me: no di.. ** was my closest...
She: haiyoo.. hope i dunt land up in front row!
Me: hehe.. free free..
She: I left free di alridi.. still.. hv to be a bit serious na.. if this module pulls down the avg na.. then damage only...
Me: Yeah.. i know.. scary!
She: this eggjam .. egg than :((
Me: boiled egg na can eat.. else.. dat also waste!
She: raw eggggggg di!!!! will fall on head!
Me: hehe.... alridi the stinkings :P
She: person next to me gets A na, then i can get atleast B...
Me: ikjaactly! :D
She: I am getting only ** avg di... u?
Me: Oye.. u stop calculating avg di.. u've been tellin me all nos for the past 3 days!
She: me got one disease di....
Me: wattttt di.. bomb putting?
She: CAP calculating disease.. the CC disorder!
Me: LOL!
She: mutation in a single brain cell
Me: i am goin to come n repress that disorder.. its troubling me too much.. overexpression!
She: hehehe.. u shd cause point mutation .... and silence the gene
Me: No no.. me the do direct deletion only! :D
She: hehe.... cannot... it is like albinism :P
(*i am silent for a while*)
She: y ur tongue the silence?
Me: hehe... shows how much i have studied! ;) damage only 2moro!

We went on to crib about our status and finally realised that we had wasted enough time and got back to mugging stuff. :D Oki, now that exams are over, i aint goin to think abt it anymore.. goin to enjoy my hols and hope to come back and kick start a fresh new semester! :D Till then.. take care.. my next post will be from home sweet home, my very own room!!! Whoaaa!!! So nice! See u guys soon!!! Hugggggggzzzzzzzzz!!! :D

Lets keep it goin...

2006-11-25T09:14:00.000+08:00

Hello people! Hope you guys had a good week. I have been studyin quite well and most importantly, i am really happy with the work i have been putting in :) I hope that i keep up this pace. Exams begin in a couple of days. So, i am in my own "sweet" world. Am sure this challenge is goin to end pretty soon and i will be back home - ready to be pampered! :D

Here are a few quotations that i found- a reflection of what i feel right now!

This one is for all those who have been keeping me motivated through this period of time. Special thanks to my "cheers prithzuuu!" and "you-know-what" pals! ;) Thanks a ton for always being by my side! :)

Take care peps! Have a wonderful weekend! Huuuuugggzzz! :)

On a Spree!

2006-11-18T02:38:00.000+08:00

First things first! This cake is for Dr. Venkatesh! Happppyyy bdayyyyy to u! I hope u don't mind the portion of the cake i ate. It was too tempting! :D

Helllloooo peps!!! Hope you guys had an awesome week. My week was pretty decent. For the past 2 days, I have been really tensed about my viva. Finally, this morning, I had my viva and after 2 hours, the spur of questions came to an end. In comparison to the viva we gave in our previous semester on electric fish, I felt that my group did a pretty decent job. OMG! Previous semester was a nightmare-come-true. The mentors were shooting all sorts of unimaginable questions in physics, to us, bio majors. We felt like some caged birds being quizzed on a fresh water fish’s habitat. Clueless and lost. Well, after what seemed like hours of incessant rebuttal, we walked out, tired and hungry. A wave of relief swept the three of us. Too drained to speak, we smiled at each another and all of a sudden, we burst out laughing in unison. Each one of us knew what the other was thinking. It was over! Yesssss!! At last, it was over!!!

While on our way to the canteen, we were mocking at how each one of us were tensed during the whole session. We drew pictures in air describing the horns, swords, long nails and protruding teeth that we gave our mentors, as they were mercilessly shooting questions at us! After a really long time, we were laughing our heads off. For a month now, its been more of ‘serious’ job, working in the lab for late hours, fearing to meet the Prof, playing hide-and-seek with our supervisor when we didn’t show up in lab for one week during mid-sem exams and worst of all, we had lots of last minute editing to do in our report. Looking back, all this seems like an adventure.

Even though we were literally gobbling down our food, we didn’t stop jabbering. We went on to recollect the good old first few days of the semester. The lectures, the lecturers (:D), hours of gossip in the canteen, the CCA’s, last minute work on submissions, lab and yeah, not to miss out, the faculty bazaar. The faculty bazaar is one thing that can turn on girls, more so, if the girl is committed. The bazaar has some awesome earrings, chains, t-shirts, skirts, bangles, crystals, soft toys, icecream stalls (!) and lots more. Sometimes, I have got so engrossed with the stuff there, that I have walked in late for lectures! Don’t ask me if I have a heavy purse. No. I simply look around, try on the chains and earrings, admire myself in the mirror for sometime, then ask them silently for the price, give them a flabbergasted look, say “Oh!” and silently slip away. When I am with my other friends, its much more fun. We walk along each stall, browsing through all the stuff they have, gape at the prices, mock at how they are trying to sell a Rs.10 earring that we could get in Pondy bazaar, at $5, pity ourselves for being single, or pour words of jealousy to those friends who are attached. We go around teasing each other of their taste and finally, when we see the vendor giving us a nasty look, we realize that we are back to stall one after one full round!

Shopping has always been fun, especially, if we are hunting for tiny-weeny stuff like earrings, hairbands, clips and bhindis. I just can’t forget those days when I used to go shopping in Pondy bazaar with appa and amma. Mom and me invariably have difference of opinion about such stuff and dad would barge in the middle and tell amma to let me have my choice. Haha! What pleasure that would give me. It was like a battle won. However, feeling sorry for my mom, I would add her choice of earrings into the cart too and promise her that I would help her with dinner that night. Mummy flattered! :P If not for the prime location of these roadside shops, such that aircon blows from the showroom nearby, I would have felt like being burnt in a furnace because of the hot puffs of smoke from mom’s ear. :D Finally, when it comes to payment, I am out of the scene. Its dad’s smartness to bargain and get me all the stuff that I have piled up in the basket! One kind word that I have saved one rasgulla for him in the fridge for tonite’s desert is enough to melt his heart. Cute daddy! Yeah, it does seem sweetly mean. But these are those small joys in life that make life so exciting. I am sure that I am going to be doing such stuff when I get back home for vacation. (*hope my parents got the hint*):D

Can’t wait for exams to get over and rush back home. Got to catch up with lots of friends and relatives. Btw, I have a presentation to give on the snake venom project this Monday! Hope it goes well. I shall see you guys soon. Till then, take care. Huggggzzzzzzz!!! Ciao! :)

That subtle difference...

2006-11-11T03:45:00.000+08:00

Hello people! How has your week been? Good? I had a busy week. I finally completed my last mid-sem exam and yeah, we also finished our report on the snake venom project. Now am back to myself, warming the chair (and my laptop), munching on whatever i can lay my hands on! :D

Ok, let’s begin with this week's post. Few days ago, i happened to read this awesome post in Gils' blog on 'nice guys'. That's what inspired me to write this one. My rantings begin…

These are some random thoughts on a set of girls who often go unnoticed for reasons that 'God-alone-knows'. They are the ones whose silence is so much so that it makes their presence cached. Not that they are shy or introverts, but it’s just that it’s the way they are. They love to own the spotlight when they are within their small group of friends, but don’t quite seek attention when in a crowd. They would make awesome buddies if one understood the simplicity and frankness in them. They might not seem so open to conversation when it comes to guys, but once they get to know him better, the guy might infact find a new dimension, that he would have to drastically edit his ‘what-I-look-for-in-my-girl’ list.

These girls may not necessarily belong to the "36-24-36" hot chicks category that most guys go gaga over, but still have that aura of what i call 'sweet and silent' beauty. They are often nicknamed lone-wolves or sometimes even nerds when they refrain from attending parties coz they don’t like the crowd or if they refuse to join a gang of friends who have booked an entire row of seats for a first day, first show movie, coz they don’t feel quite comfortable with the attention that their gang might possibly get in the theatre. They mite find no need for that extra layer of makeup, a rich lip gloss or mascara to power up their looks, but instead stick to wearing just a thin line of kaajal, that is strong enough to lure the 'nice guys' (which too was unintended). Its these few girls who are branded as not being fashion conscious just because they are still spotted in a pair of casual jeans whose ends have been neatly tailored, while the rest of the world is following the new trend of wearing mini-skirts, which bears the look of 'my-ends-have-been-ripped-by-the-ruthless-washing-machine'. This also refers to those girls who are termed as being so less cosmetic savvy because they are ignorant about the new facial scrub that 'The Body Shop' has just introduced in market.

They are the ones who might find nothing so fascinating about a guy's biceps or triceps, or for that matter won’t even bother to check if he would be strong enough to lift her if she were to become his girlfriend, but still insist that he works out in the gym so that he can drop a bit of fat that hangs from his sides, which makes his once flat-football-groundish tummy look like a basketball now. This is about those many girls who expect not that their male friend open doors for them, or carry their heavy shopping bags, but would be genuinely appreciative of his gentlemanliness and grateful for accompanying them back home in the dark night, so that she didn't have to walk back alone. I am talking about those girls who, when interrupted by a call in between a waxing session, would simply bite their teeth in pain and listen patiently to their excited friend on the line, who is desperate to give her a detailed description of the chick sitting in front of him in the bus, instead of snapping hard at the poor fellow, who has no clue of what she is upto at the other end.

They don’t fuss over a small drop of rose milk that they accidentally spilt on their dress and end up finishing all the tissues in the table in the name of clearing it, but infact, silently excuse themselves to the washroom and get it cleared without any hullabaloo. These are the set of girls who prefer having a nice, homely, self-cooked lunch with their friends rather than go out to McD or Burger King for a burger and coke. While the truth remains that they consider such quick meals as fillers rather than a wholesome meal, they are criticized of having become unfit for this kind of a lifestyle. As if there was an equation establishing a linear relationship between the prime of a girl and the number of hard rock songs in her mp3 player, these girls are mocked at when they confess that they prefer listening to soft melodies. When it comes to the discussion of a topic that they are not interested in (either coz they are void of any knowledge in that area or coz they find it disgusting), they are teased to such an extent as if they were only fit to be born as some asexually reproducing plant or algae.

Finally, these are the girls who are considered the honest-to-goodness kind. It is little understood that they have their own sweet way of being mischievous and enjoying life. At the end of the day, it’s the question of how each one of us chooses to live our life. :) Ok, I shall wind up my post here. See you guys soon. Have a super cool weekend. Take care. Huggggzzzzzzzz!!!

Also, the card below is a dedication to a very good friend of mine. One friend who tires not of my u-know-what's!!! Wanted to cheer him up from the meloncholy.

Hey, 'you-know-who'.. know wat?... this is for ya!!!! :D

Waking up to reality...

2006-11-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hellllllloooo people!!! Hope u guys had a nice week and headstarted your weekend!!! :D Well, my week was decent. Finally, i got myself to work and yeah, so far so good! Also, my cousin had his betrothal this week. My entire family was down there, having fun (not as much as they would have, if i were there - i assume so!!), eating like gluttons (i am sure they did, they cant deny it!!!). And I was in my room, alone, enjoying the pleasant s'pore weather with a few slices of garlic bread and a glass of tea and yeah, working on my statistics assignment!!! Whoa!!! I couldnt get to believe it was me. Family functions are something that really turn me on. I get really freaked out, planning what to dress, what job i am assigned to be doing and stuff like that!

Well, this time was quite an exception. I was excited about everything. Alright! But still, i guess i was trying to suppress that feeling. In a way, it was masked by my fear and worries of missing the fun on the D-day. I didnt want to be that emotionally shaken girl who would sit down in the corner of the room and weep for being so far away from home on such an occasion. Infact, i was consoling my cousins and aunties who were missing me. I asked them to enjoy the food while i am not around, awakening them to the fact that i wouldnt have left anything for them to eat, if i were there. More than anyone else, i guess my parents were missing me the most. Imagine, when all other uncles and aunties swarm the hall with their children and discuss about what each one of their kids is upto, while my dad and mom have nothing else to say, except that their daughter couldnt make it to the engagement.

Hmm.. well.. my dad and mom were updating me about all that was happening there, to the extent that, my dad dailed direct from his mobile and was describing how each one of my cousins, aunties and uncles were dressed! OMG!! That was kinda crazy. But before he hung up the phone he said, "Nothing much is happening here. Dont worry. You can make up for it during the marriage. Now relax and get back to your work. Take care!" I dont see how better he could have put that. Infact, i feel we were tryin to console one another. I was asking my parents to chill and not bother much about the eternal question of their missing daughter, that would keep bouncing back on them as they dash upon each one of our family members. I instructed them to give no explanations and simply told them to repeat these words, "Enjoy the food while she is not around!"

Personally, i feel that this, to some extent, does show signs that i am infact growing up to be that strong, mature and "cute" woman that i want to blend myself into, without losing the excites-for-nothing and hyperactive girl that i always wish to be. :D Well, apart from all these, i am working as a student guide in the nobel museum hosted by my university this year! Its been lots of fun, especially the group tours that i gave for school kids!!! And guess what??? Today, a lady from the university newsletter came up to me and began shooting questions at me. In short, she was interviewing me!!! This is the first time i am being put through such a situation. But thank god, i didnt say anything stupid except for one question which went like this. She asked me why i chose to be student guide for the nobel exhibition and i said, "Oh, well.. i guess this is the closest i can get to the nobel prize!!" I dont know how good or bad an answer that was, but it was for sure a very frank and spontaneous answer that escaped my lips. I am just waiting to see the museum manager's reaction when he reads that article!!! :P

Well, thats it for now...i've got lots more assignments and lessons to catch up.. i will see ya guys soon.. till then.. take care.. have fun.. hugggggzzzzzzzzzzz!!! :)

p.s.: hey.. i forgot to tell u guys that i played pool on diwali!!! First time!!! Was wonderful and i enjoyed it.. so now.. who wanna play pool wid prithz??? :P

Tempest with Self...

2006-10-30T00:08:00.000+08:00

Hi ppl! Hope u guys had a good weekend. My weekend was quite bland. I had a handful of plans lined up - but all that i managed to do was go jogging and tighten up my muscles. Oh dear! I am now on "loosening up" excercise. Its giving me hell loads of pain that i am unable to walk a few steps or even sit down in peace. Believe me, its a real torture!

More than a week has passed by since i sat down in harmony with my mind and books. They simply dunt seem to cooperate. Well, today my tolerance level touched its zenith. This is not the first time in life that i feel pissed off with my own self and its not a feeling i enjoy having. Of course not! But still, i have been stupid enough to get to this state of mind. Haven't i?? It makes me wonder if i ever managed to learn anything worth-while from my previous experience. How crazy can that get?

It isnt uncommon that at the end of a week, i find myself having done nothing useful. But the guilt that gets me to the task at one point of time, is still inert. It makes me ponder why.

Where is that me that once was? What does this indifference to work mean? Why is it that deadlines seem to matter so less? Is it that i am so confident about getting done with it in the last moment? Where is that dream that i thought was driving my life? Have i put it on hibernation at the wrong time? Or is it that i am not serious enough about my goals in life? Where is all the self motivation i tried to give myself? Was it just an illution? Or am i trying to do something that is beyond my calibre? Have i taken the wrong decision in life? Anyways, now that i am halfway across the journey, it isnt wise to turn back or repent. I feel i have given enough and more space to the lazy bug in me. Its high time i get to some serious work. Else things can get messy and there can be nothing but calamity. I have no justifications for not working. No more sympathies! I am off for now!

Take care guys.. hope all of us have a neat week ahead...i am hoping that i can get cheerful soon...hugggzzzzzzzzzzzz!

P.S. : I seriosuly wish i could tell u about all the fun i had this diwali. But, my current state of mind is too preoccupied, that it wishes to confess its misbehaviour. Lets hope this confession can get it to work. I shall soon strike back with my usual "straight-from-the-heart" and "bubbly" posts! Promise! :)

Neither here, nor there!

2006-10-25T05:40:00.000+08:00

************************************************

Its that time in life -

When those that are sweet to the heart, are not so to the mind.

When thoughts from the same soul seem cantankerous.

When salt and pepper looks are hard to be hidden.

When the bubbling energy seems so muffled.

When anything childish speaks of insanity.

When the fuming enthusiasm is poise.

When ignorance is unaccpetable.

When truth is lucidly raw.

Its also that time in life -

When peril means challenge.

When the chaos is just too exciting.

When work is 'dreams under construction'.

When vivacious still sounds an understatement.

When the silence is so deafening and full of meaning.

When responsibilities seem heavy and come crashing down.

When trying to feign innocence seems a wonderful adventure.

When the world seems so bland, yet so bold, bright and beautiful.

************************************************

This is that time in life when pandemonium prevails. I feel distorted, lost, confused. A tempest rages within myself - To conquer the unseen, the unheard, the untouched and the unknown. To taste the elixir of life. Its when i try to paint maturity in every thought and attitude. Immaturity seems to breed self-contempt. Well, if these are what they call "growing up", then, i can feel the pristine splendor of this mayhem attack me!!!

Will i ever grow up?!?!

2006-10-19T22:44:00.000+08:00

Helllllooo peoplessss!!! How u guys doin???? Hope u guys are gettin ready to rock diwali this year!!! Am as excited as ever to welcome diwali. Strange as it may seem, i have so many plans for diwali. But ironical enough, i am clueless about what i am goin to do!!! Haha!! Oki, before i start off with the topic of the blog, here goes this week's highlights....

1> I put up a decent show in my molecular biology exam!!!! Atleast, i think i did good for the effort i had put in.. usually, i get pissed off when my efforts dunt pay off (anyone does for that matter)..but this time, i was indeed happy with myself that i got moa an icecream!!! Haha!! cute huh???

2> After a long time in the history of my exam preparations, i finished preparing for 2moro's stats exam 19 hours ahead of time!!! I guess the last time i did such a thing was when i was in class 5!!! Proabably, its all stats prof's influence now!! :D

3> As diwali is fast approaching, i thot i would clean up my room and do my laundry much sooner than i usually do! Unfortunately, to do laundry, we need 20 cents for activating the washing machine and the drier, which i didnt have!! Thanks to the vending machine in the common room, i exchanged my 10 cents for 20 cents!!! (*this is a secret many juniors in university dunno!!! so finger on your lips!!!*) Then, after washing, i found to my horror that no drier was working!!! Shit thing!!! Later, i had to steal the clothes line stand from the kitchen. I silently sneaked it into my room, only to find that it was broken!!! No wonder, somebody had dumped it in the kitchen!!! Still, i managed to make it stand in one unstable equilibrium! I had to skillfully hang the clothes alternately on both sides, so that it balances!!! I carefully managed to hang the didnt-wash-me-for-more-than-a-month jeans so that it doesnt disturb the existing precarious setup. Anyways, now its all dryin up.. so lets keep fingers crossed!!! LOL!!

Oki, now enough of my mundane stuff... Let me get to the topic...

Two weeks ago, i bought kellogg's choco balls and frosties. Now, dunt ask me wats so great abt that. Jus listen up! So, yeah.. as usual , one evening, i opened the choco balls pack to munch while studying! :P Little did i know i had a surprise inside! I found a cute smiley spoon in that!!! I got sooooo bloody excited that i immediately started using that for eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper, chips - practically everything. The next morning, i opened frosties for breakfast and i found another smiley spoon there!!! WooooW!!! Super cool na!!!

I collected 2 colours.. got to collect the other 2 colour spoons - blue and red!!! :D

I know all this sounds quite insane from a girl who is slowly going to slip outta her teens in a few months time. But, i am this weird combo, who is a total freak for cosmetics on one side and on the other, loves anything that is kids stuff!!!!! When at home, we used to get such kiddo stuff for free (when i buy biscuits or chocis!!!). Usually, i never got a chance to keep them for myself. Mom and dad felt it was too stupid of me to play with such stuff and they used to pass it on to my other younger cousins! I wouldnt mind that tho! But i remember collecting tazo's that used to be given with ruffles lays!!! I collected so many that my cuzns got jealous. One day when i was away to skol, they took the whole pack from my home. I was searching for it all over the house. I even suspected my mother for throwing them away in the name of cleaning my shelf! Later, when i went to my cuzn's place, i found all my prized collections there!!!

Apart from the my interest in such goodies, i am this character who digs into her dad's travel bag and suitcase when he returns from a tour! I am such a selfish soul that i dunt even bother to ask him about his trip. But of course, i am kind enough to snatch the heavy bag, unpack it for him and check if he has got me anything!!! :P With a dad who travels a lot, i know exactly wat to look for when he returns from his tour! If he is gettin bk from cochin - banana chips, madurai - lovely jasmine (for mom!! :P), bombay - some books for me(this was during harry potter season-pirated books!!), pune - bakarwadi, delhi - some nice tops, lucknow - chicken work salwar!!! Apart from these if he travels by flight, then first thing that i look for are the dairy creamer packets!!! :P

This reminds me of my dad's first visit to Europe. This was when i was in primary school. While everyone in our family were anxious and a bit worried about his first overseas travel, i was one kid who was totally excited about the whole thing! It was rather a matter of pride for me to boast to my frnds - "Hey, u know wat??? My appa is goin to Europe! Jolly!! He said he will get me lots of chocolates. Dunt tell anyone oki.. i will bring some to skol and share with you during biscuit break!!!" (*i used to wink at them after that!!*) Yeah!!! One week later, he returned at around 3-4am in the morning! And i was wide awake, not to welcome him, but his suitcase!!! But guess what??? He did get lots of chocolates. But sadly, enough, i was expecting that he get me some soft toys, but he got me one piggy that would skip!!! He also got an octopus clock!!! Yeakkssss!!! So scary it was!! OMG!!! I then felt i was a "big girl" to be playing with a pig that would go around the house skippin if switched on!!! For heaven's sake, i cant tell my frnds about his piggy that dad so lovingly got for me! I was sooo upset that day!!! I was like, "Appa, in London, arent there any soft toys?? Y of all the things u got me this pig??? My frnds will mock at me if i tell them u got me a piggy!! I dunt like it at all.. go to london again n get me somthing else!!!" Poor thing!!! Only now can i understand how bad he would have felt to hear those words from me! Every cuzn of mine born after me has played with that piggy!!! Now, my 1 year old neice plays wid it too!!! Frankly, i meddle wid it when i go home!!! :D

Today, i am miles away to even think of digging into my dad's suitcase when he returns from a tour. But, whenever i chat with him, he does tell me that he has all the diary creamer packets saved for me in the fridge!!! "Sooo cute!!!" This is wat makes me feel if i will ever grow up!!! Last year, around the same time was my first diwali in s'pore and away from my family. The very same day, a year ago, my dad and mom sent me a gift for diwali along with a letter. It was the first hand written letter from my mother!! :) Truely amazing!!!

I dunno y i suddenly got so senti. But yeah, another diwali away from home reminded me of these incidents. So, jus felt like sharing this with you guys.. hope i didnt bore u too much. I shall stop here.. Me looking forward for a wonderful diwali with frnds!! I leave u guys with my warm diwali wishes!! Have a colourful, happy and safe diwali!!! Have a blast and enjoy yourselves!!! take care.. huggggzzzzzzzzzz!!!! :)

p.s. : shall try to post pics of the piggy and octopus clock in my next post! :)

When thoughts are just wishes...

2006-10-15T14:55:00.000+08:00

Wish i can hold ur hand and walk along... like the walk to icecream parlour

Wish i can hear those encouraging words... as u lift me up from low spirits

Wish i can take you out in our car... while i drive n u jus sit back (tensed :P)

Wish i can be unwrapped from this virtual connection... (for a change, internet sucks)

Wish i can taste the flavour of your fingers... when u feed me

Wish i can feel the warmth of your lap... when i rest on u

Wish i can see the joy in your eyes... when we meet again

Wish i can just be there... with u... at home...

Stressed. Dejected. Home sick. Badly wanting to see my parents...

Am counting down days to catch my flight back home... till then, lets hope things go well.. Diwali is comin up soon.. not yet got new dress... no plans.. once i am done with my stats exam on 20th evening.. things will fall in place... Anyways... am still the motivated and enthu kid around in university in spite of all the commotion... am happy with myself in that sense... gaining inspiration from thy self! That's exactly wat keeps me goin thru such tuf times... Life suddenly seems to be pickin up pace... and i am enjoying the run.. Join along peps!!!!!!! :) hugggggzzzzzzzzzz!!!! Will catch ya guys soon.... :)

Acute HyperTAGosemia!

2006-10-12T14:16:00.000+08:00

Yalo peps! Hope u guys are having a good week. I have been running around with classes and almost 6 hours of lab everyday. Gettin me really tired. Yesterday, i was in the lab from 11am until 8.30pm, with a break of 2 hours - to meet my mentor and to have tea! OMG, i got so restless at the end of the day. I couldnt wait to shove away my shoes and pull my legs outta the socks!!! But anyways, i thoroughly enjoyed working! So no regrets :)

With regards to my prev tag post, i was wondering, if there is something really weird about me. And lo, i did manage to squeeze these outta my drained brain. Here are a few more -

<1> I have the habit of combing my hair, washing my hands and face before going to bed every night. Its like i am dressing up to get into my world of trance.

<2> Of late, i have developed this obsession for tea that, i cant manage to get to bed in the night without having a glass of tea! (all these days i have been thinking that tea makes u brisk!!)

<3> However f***ing hot the climate be, my shower will always be with warm water. My dad comes out sweating if he gets into the bathroom after i have had my shower!!!

<4> When i get angry or frustrated (which happens very rarely nowadays), i need to push down stuff. Like, at home, i used to push down all the vessels from the kitchen or scatter the newpaper on the floor! But mom had to clean up the place!

Hehe :) So, that's also another side of me!!! And here are the other 2 tags...

Tagged by Krithika -

1)Are you happy/satisfied with your blog with it's content and look?
Absolutely! I love it! Anyways, if i wanted a change, i mite prefer a pink template with flowers and butterflies and lakes and chocolates and icecreams!!

2) Does your family know about your blog?
Yeah, they do! My dad even posted an anony comment in my post about singlish!

3) Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or you just consider it as a private thing?
Not at all - i am happy to share my thoughts with them. If i thot my posts were so private that even my friends are not allowed to read them, i wouldnt be blogging in a public portal like this.

4) Did blogs cause positive changes in your thoughts?
Of course! Loads! Tons!

5) Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or you love to go and discover more by yourself?
Usually, i stick to my blogrolled list. Occasionally, when i am bored, i visit new blogs.

6) Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?
Nopes! Its a virtual world for me. I feel, relate and see though their words and thoughts. But one day, i hope to meet them eye-to-eye.

7) Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit for blogging?
For me - YES! It is all in the individual's attitude.

8) Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from real world or interacts with events?
What does the question mean? What events? I believe that i am currently living in two worlds - the real and the virtual. While blogging, i bring my real world into the virtual. Dats it!

9) Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it's a normal thing?
I dunt mind being criticised. But, sometimes, i jus dunt care about it. I am what i am and people are what they are! If every one of us thought the same way, there is no variety in life. No spice.

10) Do you fear of some political blogs and avoid them?
I dont fear them. I avoid them for sure! I hate politics.

11) Did you get shocked by the arrest of some bloggers?
This in itself is a shocking news to me.

12) Did you think about what will happen to your blog after you die?
Nopes! I dont want to think about it. Even if i were to think, all that comes to my mind is this - after i die, somebody mite come down to my blog, read my post, comment and wait for me to reply. When they find my space idle for more than a week, they mite even ping me and say "Update plz!" :P

13) What do you like to hear? What's the song you like to put its link in your blog?
Kadhal Sadugudu from Alaipayuthe - my all time favourite!

14) Five bloggers to be the next "victims"?
Will let know later in comment section!

Tagged by Has to be me -

3 Smells I love:
> the aroma of mom's food
> jhonson's baby powder, soap
> intoxicating smell of the earth when it begins to rain

3 Smells I hate:
> smell of anything non-veggie being cooked, esp. fish and chicken
> durian
> sweaty bad body odour

3 Jobs that I have had in my life:
> class leader
> cupboard leader
> math n science secretary

3 Movies that I could watch over and over:
> My Girl
> Devdas
> Alaipayuthe

3 Fond memories:
> When i got admission into NUS
> When my parents proudly posed for a pic with me when i got the award for best out going student from class 12
> When my neice Aditi was born

3 Jobs I would love to have:
> Work as research assistant in a stem cell lab
> Teacher for primary and seconday skol kids
> Being a mother (i know it aint a job, its goin to be fun and quite tricky!)

3 Things I like to do:
> To listen to good music and sing along
> Sit by the beachside, watch the waves, hear them talk to me and enjoy the fresh air.
> Freak out with my family

3 Of my favorite foods:
> Mom's rasam rice
> Dad's vethakozhambu
> Of course, pav bhaaji, masala tea, butterscotch icecream and ferero rocher chocolates!

3 Places I would like to be right now:
> My home in Chennai
> On top of the icecapped Alps
> Stem cell lab!
(*btw, can i be in 3 places at the same time???*)

3 Things that make me cry:
> When i feel desperate to talk or see someone
> When i work hard and it doesnt give me the deserved result
> When i feel homesick

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!! That ends it. I am now cured of my acute hyperTAGosemia!!! Since i am in a super cool mood, i aint taggin anyone. However, watch out! I mite come down to ur blog and tag you!!! :P So peps.. take care. have fun and enjoy your weekend!!! :) tataaaaaaaaaaaaa... and huggggggggzzzzzzzzzzz!!! :)

Hey Hey!! This is me!!! :)

2006-10-09T15:40:00.000+08:00

Yealooooo guys n gals!!! Stricking back again with tag!!! This time tagged by Ganesh. So here it goes...

Those 6 things that I feel makes me weird, yet keeps me myself (btw, weird is a relative term) -

<1> Mood-swing : One moment i can be sooo hyper and the very next, i can get so moody, that a tear will jus trickle down my cheek, when u had least expected it!! And yeah, once again start giggling with tears still rolling down!!! Oh my gawddddd!!! Can i ever get over thisssssssss!!!

<2> Only guilt gets me to work : When i dont have the mood to study or work, i simply dont. Period. This can go on for days. For that matter, even until the day b4 exam. When i realise that i have freaked out enough and i begin to feel myself literally chocked out of guilt, i get to work!! And when i do get to work, i care the damn about the rest of the world. If not for deadlines, i would be gettin nowhere.

<3> The soft corner : I am this love maniac. If u shower me with love and care, be a good friend to me, i will be such an awesome friend, the sweetest u would have ever had. Even when u ditch me, i will have a soft corner for u. U mite be angry wid me for days, u mite not even talk to me. I will force to keep myself away from u, if u wish that way. Finally, when one day, u come back to me and smile, i will be the first person to hug u and feel best to have got u back into my life, no matter how harsh u have been to me in the past. I dunno from where i will got this attitude. Sometimes, it takes me for a ride. "If u enter my life, u are to be here forever" - That's my whole logic of a relationship. So, ultimately, i am very choosy about my friends. If i feel that i mite not be able to give my true self to the relationship, i nip it off at the bud - a soft smile is the best i can offer.

<4> Hard core perfectionist : I am such a sucker at this. I always look to perfectly crafting watever i do. When it comes to keepin the room clean, even a pen cant cant get outta place. I can get u a safety pin, when my room is pitch dark. Again, this is a triat i believe, has genetically travelled from my parents. Of course, i set my own perfection standards. Sometimes, i jus feel, i am demanding too much from myself. When it comes to exams, i got to know each n every syllable in the notes and the text, else, i get totally pissed off. This now seems quite difficult in university - so again, another struggle.

<5> Monotony kills : Anything that is monotonous can suck the life outta me. This mite be common for many. But in the future i cant imagine a life wherein i simply wakeup-cook-eat-rush to work-get back home-cook-eat-sleep. I need a break at least once in 2 days!!! Right from changing my nick or profile image in yahoo/msn messenger every 3rd day, to looking at a challenging work pattern, i hafto break the monotony. This is what adds life its spice and the zest! :)

<6> Sporty gal: Name a sport, teach me if i dunt know to play, and i will grasp it in a jiffy. Sometimes, i feel, i would have done better as an athlete than as a student of science. At the end of the day, i guess i will be playin around with some bacteria, viruses or stem cells!!! LOL!!!

Too add to all these weird attitude thingies, i have this physically wierd stuff. I eat like a glutton. With one look at me, no one would believe that i eat so much. When u jus begin to think, "Ah, she is damn full. now she gotto stop munching something", i am sorry to say, but u got me wrong. I will still be hungry. In some corner of my tummy, i will still have place to insert a scoop of butterscotch icecream. My metabolism rate is dangerously high. Some of u mite even get jealous if u tell u that my daily diet includes corn flakes with one mug milk and nuts, 1 mug of chocolate milk(strictly extra cream milk), 1 mug tea, one cup of rice(includes high fat curd rice), one veggie, one fruit, 3 cheese dosas, one boiled egg, boiled american corn, one mug juice, 3 bars of hazel nut chocolate, one scoop icecream, and still, i manage to get no fat under my skin. Eating like this for the past 2 months, and i was only able to stuff myself with a rise of 2 kgs - all the calcium went to my bones and i am still the same healthily-thin-and-tall girl. Again, its in my genes!!! But now, i am happy the way i am... only then can i jump and kick and roll and do all sorts fo crazy things na!?!?! :D

That ends the weird stuff about me. I guess u can discover some more weirdo stuff if u get a chance to meet and interact wid moa!! :P

And guys... guess wat??? I went bowling last saturday!!!! My first experience!!! :D

Whoaaaaaaaaa!!! It was awesome. The first time i bowled, i struck 8. In my 7th round of the first game, i had a full strike!!!! Whoaaaaa..i literally jumped up to the roof punchin the air hard with my fist!!! I got soo bloody excited. OMG!!! My friends couldnt believe it was my first bowling experience and they went on teasing me to the fact that is was just beginner's luck. But then, when the guys were pleading with us girls for another game, my finger was the first to go up. And guess what? i did much better in my second game!! No more beginner's luck i tell u. Pure talent!!! As i mentioned before, i ought to have taken up a career in sports!!

As soon as i saw a PINK ball, i wanted a foto wid me holdin it!!! OMG, when i tried to lift it, it was unexpectedly heavy and oops, it mite have landed on my foot, if not not for my quick reflexes.

Oki, then we paid up for another game and began to play with teams. Though my thumb was beginning to swell and hurt, i still managed to get 3 straight strikes!!! Man, in the group of 7 of us, i managed to come 3rd!! Not bad for a freshie han???!! Our team lost by a mere 7 points, but still, i beat my friend on the one-to-one bet that we personally had!!! :D Super cool!!! Then after bowling, we went for a massage. It was this cosy easy-chair sort of thing, where v had to put in $1 and it would begin to massage, or for me - TICKLE!!! Sh** man!!! Instead of relaxing my muscles and soothing my body pain, it managed to perfectly tickle every ounce of flesh. I was wriggling on the chair, making all sorts of crazy noises. I was laughin like a maniac and the worst part was that, my friends managed to video tape all that i was doing!!! OMG!!! I looked so funny!!! And when at last, the so-called massage was over, i ought to have been feeling relaxed and refreshed, instead i was so damn tired and my muscles were still giggling for all the acupuncture therapy they got!!!

Oki, that ends my series of freak outs i had this weekend. From now on, i am plannin to lessen my shopping for clothes and cosmetics. Instead, me gonna go bowling... anyone wanna join meeeeeeeee??????

Let's talk cock* meh!!

2006-10-07T03:06:00.000+08:00

Hello peoples!!! Nice to see u guys so soon!!! Hope u had an awesome week. I badly wanted a break from my books and so, here i am sooner than expected!!! But, guys, i am sorry to say that i havnt yet got my confirmation about the good news. I am as anxious and excited as u are...but good things dunt come so easy rite.. so lets jus have our fingers crossed and wait for the D-day!!! :)

Its been almost more than a year since i have settled in singapore and i would be doing no justice if i fail to learn the local singlish here. Yeah, i am gettin a hold of it all!! Its actually fun to speak with local singaporeans in their own language - simple, easy and gramatically less demanding. Nowadays, within indians ourselves, conversing in singlish has become some sort of a fun-factor. It reminds of me of my school days, when we used to have our own school language and boast about it all to our neighbours and cousins who were in different schools. Now, even in university, this gang of about 5-6 of us have been actively propagating our school's language!!! :P Here are some slangs we commonly use -

>> When we got to say a hi - "Yalo the!!"
>> When we are cheering someone, or encouraging - "Come the!!"
>> While trying to capture the attention of a crowd - "Yalo peoples!!! Listen up!! "

Am not goin to let out anything more, for we are currently working on patenting this. Once we get our patent approved, i shall share some more!! :P

Oki, now for some singlish... i have borrowed this from one of my friends.. hope he doesnt mind it.. even if he does... i am sure he has not yet patented it.. so i aint gonna get caught in singapore's strict plagiarism rules!! :) So, here they go...

>> When someone offers a favour, the other casually rejects saying, "Its okay lah!!"
>> When enquring if we can enter through a door or not - "Can pass or not??"
>> When trying to make the other person feel at home - "Dont shy shy lah."
>> While rejecting or declining an offer - "Doe waan!!"
>> When something cannot be done - "Cannot lah!"
>> When u are stuck in the middle of any matter, thinking about wat to do next, the other person asks - "So how??"
>> When trying to wind up any matter - "So, lets see how lah."
>> When you have completed some assignment - "I finish oreddy."
>> When you have lots of work piled up, then your condition is - "Die-die"
>> When you have not told the other person something, the other guy says - "You neva told me what!!"
>> When you want to ask if this bus has got ac - "This bus got aircon or not?"
>> When someone is staring at u for quite sometime - "Stare what stare??"

So, thats just a pinch of the singlish that i have begun to use quite frequently... :) At the same time, i make sure, i maintain my individuality and originality in the way i speak english. Ultiamtely, i got to be what i am. :P Now, u guys do add on if u have something interesting to share about such slangs... :) i will be back with good news and some other updates about all thats happening out here in university... till then.. take care and have an blast this weekend.. huggggggggzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! :)

*talking cock, in singlish means, talkin nonsense. :)

Revival....

2006-10-04T11:06:00.000+08:00

Yalooooooooooo peoples!!!!!!!! OMG, am back after a really loooong time!!! Missed u guys tons!!! Hope u guys are doing good. I have sooooo many things to tell u and exams and assignments have been brutally snatching away my time!! :'( Also, blogger has been giving me problems, so cudnt update any sooner! Plz echuse moa lah!!! :P In the midst of all the academic work, i had to attend rehearsals for an orchestral performance on saturday!!!! Yeahhhhhhh!!! We did a good job and I was really exited about the whole thing. The only issue that was pulling down my spirits was the thought that I had to carry myself in a sari. I had to drastically change my usual quick paced steps to soft ones, and stop jumping around to show off my pony dangling behind. However, I managed to carry myself much better than I imagined. Still my friends went around teasing me, 'coz they thought I was still looking like a kiddo in the sari!!! :P

Ok.. now to the most important matter of the week. This single new development has been the drive that has kept me going through monotonous hours of sitting in front of my books, trying to mug the names of enzymes and proteins. Yeahhhhhhhhhhh.... remember me telling you guys about this cuzn of mine, for whom we were looking for a girl??? Yeah yeah.. the same!!! Last Sunday, my family went down to the girl's place and the girl and my cuzn have agreed to the marriage proposal!!! Whoaaaaaaaaa!!! It all happened in a matter of less than a day. Can u believe that??? For heaven's sake i could hardly take it all in. The worst part was that i had to work in the lab last Sunday when my family were down there at my place enjoying the day. Being miles away from home can be such a pain at instances like these. I was sooooo desperate to get back home that i would not have cared if i had to swim all the way across the sea from here to india!!!

OMG... i was soooo restless. I was nagging my friend, asking her - if my cuzn wud have been in jeans or formals, if he would have gone clean shaven or with a french beard, what he mite talk to the girl, if the girl would also wear jeans and come with us to the beach and spencer plaza, if my cuz's love and care for me would change after his marriage, if he would still take me in his bike to our favourite hangout - the icecream parlour and marina beach. Yeah, as much as i was excited about the wedding bells, it made me equally apprehensive about how things mite change in a few months after the entry of this girl into our family. Of course, I have to convince myself to the truth that this new girl will share more liberty, more love, and more attention with my cuzn than I will. I am not too sure how to react to the whole turnover of events. But, it sure does make me feel quite insecure and lonely. I hope he has a wonderful beginnning to this new phase of life. I am sure he will rock as usual and i will always be there for him, as his sweet little sister :)

These apart, monday's exam was a total disaster. I literally slogged to get stuff into my head. Biochemistry. OMG. It has never been "my-kinda-thing", especially ‘coz it requires that i memorize. What I call the “exam-flunk” trauma has been haunting me until last nite. I was tryin to analyse wat had gone wrong. Did I do badly ‘coz the paper was tuf??? Was the paper tuf for all??? Was it ‘coz I didn’t put in enuf??? Or ‘coz I lacked the concentration??? Or ‘coz my lack of interest pulled me down??? I wasn’t overconfident. Probably, I was just too stressed. Untimely eating habits and insufficient sleep never do good. When the mind and heart seem so out of place, one cute movie, a lovely walk in a lonely road amidst the silence of the night and a few thoughtful words can work wonders. And it surely did. And to feel that someone takes the trouble and care to get me back to this ecstatic mood is all the more heart warming. I feel as though i have revived the lost-me. Agressively motivated. Exploding with energy. And as i always say - incurably optimistic!

I have one awesome news to tell u guys - almost like a dream come true. But i need to hold it back for a little while. Once it is confirmed, u will be the first ones to get the news!!! So, till then, keep guessing... i shall be back soon with lots to tell u... Take care... Keep smiling.. Life is not all that bad afterall...It is so much fun!!! Hugggggggggggzzzzzzzzzzz n Maaaaaaaaackkkkkkssssssssssss come your way from meeeeeeeeeeee!!! :)

Attitude Matters!!! (pun intended)

2006-09-23T20:20:00.000+08:00

Helllllo ppl!!! Hope all is well!!! i am doin great... and no wat... i just came bk from lab and eurekhaaaaaaaa... v got a positive result at last... after 2 months of slogging!!! Now, i can look forward to doing the next step!!!! Hehe :)

Oki.. now here is last week's updates.. my musings begin....... :)As I walked into the lecture theatre on friday afternoon, I could feel about hundred pairs of eyes giving me that oh-my-god-kinda look, making me feel uncomfy. The stares sure were not 'coz of my new hairdo, or my super cool pink top, but 'coz of the bandage that i wore on my right wrist!!! Yeah, i managed a perfect wrist sprain 2 days ago!!! Dunt ask me how, when, where or what. I have no answer. A hyper-active girl, simply doesnt know where she picks up such minor damages!!! :P So, after i felt that the pain was doin me no good, i went to my university hospital and the doc was soo damn sweet that he said - "Hey, u managed to sprain ur hand at the right time. Have the whole mid-semester break to take care of it!!" Hehe :) Wish i had such sprains when i was in school!! I could have got an excuse from doin homework and most interestingly, mom would have fed me in such a circumstance!! :P And Yessssssssss people, the whole of next week, no lectures, no assignments... but lots of pending stuff to work on, preparations for mid-sem test and of course, some freak outs as well!!! I was planning to experiment some new recipe, eat well, freak out, prepare notes - basically, was plannin to do lots of physical activity. Now, i got to wait until my wrist feels fine. And yeah, it is gettin better!!! :)

Prithz hand - firmly strapped and curbed of its usual freedom!!! :'(

Oki, gettin to the topic, last afternoon, during the 10 min break in-between lecture, my frnd and me were giggling like clowns over a punch dialog that i managed to tell her and suddenly, one of my batchmates came up to me and asked, "Hey, do you know that there is this new 24-hour suicide hotline number for students???" I gave him a super-cocktail look - blank, blunt, puzzled, shocked, surprised!!! I replied, "Sorry... was that question for me???" Then, he pointed out to my hand and conjured a question mark in thin air. I gave out a furious laugh. How could anyone ask such a dumb question to me??? Do i look like i wanna commit suicide??? Wretched?? Forlorn??? Of course not!!! I am in the best of my spirits, enjoying every moment of this phase of ma life. I never imagined that a simple sprain could get people thinking this way. As a matter of fact, if that guy had questioned me with some sort of a sarcastic smile, i would have forgiven him. (haha, did u notice the alliteration that i managed??? lol!!!) But to my utter dismay, he came up and questioned me as if he were asking me some academic doubt!!! Even after my straight reply, his face was still sans a smile. (haha, another alliteration!!!) If his question was meant to be a joke, let him know that i couldnt even manage to get a tiny-weeny smile twinched outta the corner of my lips.

Another strange incident happened this week. My frnd and i were walkin out of the tutorial class. I was to rush for my lecture, while my frnd agreed to get things ready in the lab, so that i could join her after my lecture. She asked me, "We are isolating DNA today, right??" I hastily replied, "No di, not today. May be not at all." Then, she turned furious, turned her back to me, and rushed right ahead of me. I could faintly hear her murmur, "Hey, if u are not interested, then, i am going to do it alone." I got thoroughly aggitated. Inspite of my temper, i tried to calmly explain to her as to why we mite not need to do DNA isolation that day. Then, she finally managed to give a rather rough "ok" that spoke nothing, but of her ego.

This mite seem so trivial an issue, but frankly, in my opinion, her reaction was nasty. Utterly disgusting! I hate people who, while on a discussion, simply walk away (thinking they are being too smart, making a fool out of the other) or abrupty cut a conversation. According to me, it speaks of one's intolerance, indifference, ego, dangerous short-temper or simply of one's acceptance of defeat. If i were in such a situation, i would simply accept my mistake and go on. Please dunt get to thinking that i am trying to picture myself as a very goody-goody girl. Until a year ago, I was myself a very egoistic and short tempered person. I literally got thumped. I was one of those fools who repeatedly learnt from their own mistakes. A timid girl i was, fuming with inferiority complex. Now, i have learnt to silently tell others that 'Your inferiority complex is much better than mine.' An independent life, away from home and family have by itself been wonderful teachers. I have evolved into what i am today, keeping alive my zeal and zest.

I am seriously confused as to why i begin to think this way. Its probably my age, or MY attitude that is pretty much antogonistic to my frnd's. At times, we just dont realise the stupidity of our actions and reactions. It can badly mirror our character. Anways, at the end of the day, i feel that all these thoughts cross my mind 'coz I am smiling a bit too much these days, so much so that i always feel that the other person is either smiling too little or has totally forgotten how to smile. Could also be that i am beginning to take things easy, which my associates are still tryin to learn. All these were just some random thoughts that flashed my mind and i managed to ramble about them here. This frnd and me are in good terms. It is jus her attitude that botheres me. I will tell her what i feel about it when the time is ripe. Hope i didnt confuse u guys as much as i got confused myself. LOL!!! Take care.. and have a good day... hugggggggggggzzzzzzzzzzz!!! :)

The Desi Touch...

2006-09-17T20:10:00.000+08:00

Yaloooooooo peoples!!! Hope u guys are having a wonderful weekend. But, bet ya, it cannot match the kinda fun i have had this weekend. Well, as usual, this post is goin to be pretty much reflective of my current ecstatic, highly-hyperactive state. No serious discussions this time. Haha!!! Happy??? I cant wait to tell u guys what has been happenin in life for the past few days.. its been an awesome roller coaster of a ride for me!!! Believe me.. i thoroughly enjoyed it and i wish that the rest of my sem could pass this way.. :P

Oki, here i goooooooooooooooooo........ (*nowadays, my blog is turning into a "dear diary" kinda thing*) LOL!!! Plz bear with me...

Thursday -

The alarm little aroused my senses and i woke up with a start realising that i had missed my 9am tutorial!!! S*** thing!! Its a graded tutorial and i better not miss it. Previous night's struggle with assignment until 3am was beginning to teach me the first lesson of the day - "The dawn doesnt come twice to awaken the man." Later, I rang up my frnd to ask her when the next tutorial slot was and she was like - "Its oki di. Forget it, only one class na. At least u slept comfortably in your room, unlike me!!" I had a good laf and as if that were not enough, i mailed to my tutor informing her of my "sickness" and inability to attend class! Like a goody-goody girl, i pleaded for an excuse and arranged a make-up class with her!!! Rest of the day went in peace, preparing for my online quiz and tryin out a new cabbage-tomato curry. It came out really well. For the recipe, my current MRP is one BIG butterscotch icecream and a pack of ferero rocher chocolates. Simple! :P

Friday -

Haha!!! One super cool day. Brought me memories of indian life. The day started off after i snoozed the alarm almost a dozen times and finally forced myself outta bed. I began my online assignment, prepared lunch, ate and was already late for the 1pm make-up tutorial i had arranged!!! To add on to all the hullabaloo, it was raining cats and dogs. Thundering!!! I ran and screeched to a halt at the bus stop only to find the bus jus cross me. Damn it!!! I had to wait for 5 more mins for the next one. Now, 5 mins is a big thing, considering the fact that the tutorial itself lasts only an hour and it would take me another 5 mins to reach my tutorial room, even if i sprintered. Time:1.15pm. OMG!!! I was gettin too late now. So much do these people stick to their doctrines, that the bus would not leave a few mins before the scheduled time. I was so restless that i was giving the bus captain a desparate look to start the bus, but as if he were unawares of the entire world, he continued to shower the bus and scrub it with detergent or watever u call it!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!! Now this was gettin out of my hands. I was contemplating if i should go to class so late or just chuck it.

Finally, the bus roared to life. I got in. Slow melody was playing in my ipod and little did it relax my nerves. 1.30pm - My stop arrived. I got down and soared to the lift, jus got it when it was begining to ascend. 1.33pm. Palpitating. I knocked the door and walked in. Ahhh!!! That was a record breaker. 3 mins from bus stop to tutorial room - beat me at that!! 'If only i were allowed to run in the Olympics', i thought :P Ok, now, all seats were occupied in the tutorial room. I joined another girl who was sittin on one of the tables. Tom-boyish as it seemed, i sat on the desk :P No chairs lah!! The girl passed me the attendence record!!! That's wat i was here for, wasnt i??!!Signed my name. Relaxed i was now. Hehe :) Then the tutor went on -

"In tis propulum, we shudu write down hyptiz leiku tiz - conziter grupu one ancht grupu two. Howeva, we doncht no de ikzact valu of meenz...."

I menacingly smiled at my friends who were surprised to see me (of all the people) walk in so late to class. I looked around the room to find some of them mechanically taking down notes, some checking mails in the computer (techically installed with some software that we needed to work out problems!!) and the others, chatting with their friends in msn!!! 1.45pm. I heard the tutor say - "Oki, taz it. U can go!!" Hehe :) Done!!! Rest of the day went in style. What else would you expect if i had stats lecture??? (*Prof was in casual t-shirt, jeans and sports shoes - Friday it was!!!*) :P That night, after nearly one and a half months, i had pizza!!! LOL!!!

Saturday -

Attended life sciences career day, went to a local school for mentoring students as part of my co-curricular activity. Mid-day, was in a temple with almost my entire batch of indian frnds for temple washing seva. Not to differ, I was as excited about the whole thing. Pulled up pants, seasoned my voice, began singing "Swargam yeanbathu nammaku" and cleaned the temple and washed it clean. Ah.... i felt so nice, or should i say Divine!!! LOL!!! Then, they served us super cool lunch, but jus when i touched the hot food, i realised a searing pain in my finger!!! Gosh!!! Not again, i had a cut in my right thumb. Jus now i recovered from a minor sprain that i had developed in my elbow, while the bus captain suddenly took the bus, before i cud get seated. Ahhh!!! :( The food was so inviting, my thumb was spoiling the whole fun!!

Later that day, the best part of my weekend was to arrive. I went to the parlour with my frnd and got a layer cut for my hair!!! Now, i look so much like myself - freaky, excited and hyperactive!!! Perfectly suits my attitude. Hehe :)

Sunday -

Ah!!! Another awesome day. One of our family frnds had invited me to a function at their place. My aunt and me planned to go there exclusively for the awesome food!!! :P Though the fried rice, panner sabji, manchurian were all very inviting, i could not resist on attacking curd rice, pickle and papad!!! :P Ate my tummy full. The cool weather,, mild drizzle and the food got me into a deep 3 hour "nap"!!!

So, was that enough???!!! Hehe :) Wishing you guys an awesome week ahead.. take care... Huuuuuuugzzzzzzzzz!!! :)

p.s.: Guys, i have updated to blogger - beta version. I am unable to comment in few of your blogs which do not accept anony comments. :( However, in my blog, i guess non-beta users can select anony option and leave ur name while u comment. Thanks.