The early morning breeze fluttered the little hair on her rather bald head. It was funny, yet cute. She looked fresh - her cheeks tender and pink, highlighting the veins that ran within them. With a fine line of dark curled hair, her eyelids enveloped her eyes, like an orange peel covering the ripe fruit beneath. Her lips – rosy and thin, further accentuated her fair complexion. God had sent her with lipstick for a lifetime, he thought. Except for the rhythmic movement of her chest and the flaring of her tiny nostrils, she didn’t move a muscle. The four fingers on either palm were locked around her thumb, showing off her already overgrown fragile nails. She was more than comfortably cuddled into the bedding. After all, it was stitched out of her mother’s old sari.
He watched her, adoring the magic that the early morning rays had on her, or rather, vice versa. He wondered what she would possibly be dreaming. Of fairies? Gods with flowers? Clowns? Or maybe, just maybe, him.
He wanted to ask her, what it was, that she was seeing with her eyes closed.
Contemplating if he wanted her to be awake or sleeping, he gently swayed the cradle. She twitched at the movement, rubbing her nose with the back of her palm and sinking back into her comfort zone. He pulled back his hand, guilty of having disturbed her. He stopped breathing for a moment, lest she should wake up again.
He didn’t know what to do. He had never been this close to a baby. Never. Ever. Now he was left with no choice. It was but his daughter. He wanted nothing to hurt her. Not even the wind. A pang of belongingness ran like a gush of adrenaline.
Sitting back on the chair, he watched her, waiting to be noticed. Silent and patient.
To be continued...
7 comments:
hmm.. pudhusa solrathukku onnum illa prithzuu...coz already have used so many words in english to praise ur posts :) ella adjectives um exhaust aayiduchu :)
aaana onnu........ oru ponn kuzhandhai pethukanum..... athukku anbai alli alli tharanum :) un post antha aasaiya valarthu vittirukku pudhusa :)
:D i thot she part 1 was the name of the post itself :D nee adikarathay naalu para..athualayum part parta podrathulam toooo much...super triple sundae icecreama oray oru scoop matum kuduthutu adutha scoop aprumngara mari iruku..seekram post madi
have no words...so beautifully written n described..continue plz..i cnt ask 4 anythin more!!
very nicely described and gives me a feeling of watching this from a distance.. waiting for part 2...
And you say that this is just PART 1?
Holy Jesus!!!!! In my humble opinion, this in itself is an amazing small story. :)
Donno why, its maybe because you are science Student, you tend to shift your focus more to hospitals and medicines (like ER , Scrubs), but the great point is that without going into the technicalities (like Robin Cook :(), you tend to bring out the human angle, which is what draws us all together.
Added to that is your vocabulary magic. How many times do I need to say that and quote you? :P
What the heck...I will do it again. :P
"her eyelids enveloped her eyes, like an orange peel covering the ripe fruit beneath" - How the hell did you even think of that :P
"God had sent her with lipstick for a lifetime, he thought." - Makes me want a baby girl :)
"He wanted to ask her, what it was, that she was seeing with her eyes closed." - I always wanted to ask babies what do they talk...well...you know...cant understand their cute gibberish talk :P
"Sitting back on the chair, he watched her, waiting to be noticed. Silent and patient." - And that is a sixer.
Well....lets sit back and wait for part-2 :)
@ rsubras:
Hehe! :) Modalla dum dum dum news ah sollinga :D
@ gils:
LOL! Idhuku peru dhan 'jillunu oru comment' ah? :P
@ dimplicious:
Danku! Its coming :)
@ venkatesh:
That's exactly the effect i wanted to give :) Thanks :)
@ harish:
Habba! En post size ku oru comment. :P Took the post too personal huh? For a change, this time, i hope i am arounnd to shoot you when you stare at your daughter like that :P Will you invite me? :D
hey tht was really nice
caught all the emotions of a new father exactly in ur words!
it is so beautifully described and ritten
cheers!
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