Me.... only me.... and none but me....

I am back to blogsville after a wonderful trip down to the countryside with my entire maternal side family... It was a much needed reunion for all of us... We had booked a tempo traveller and visited a few temples... On our way, we also hopped to our native place, a town named Pudukkotai near Trichy...in the midst of my city-born cousins, i was the only one born in this small town ... i still remember how inferior and embarrased i used to feel to mention this as my birth place... When all my friends used to say Chennai, Delhi, Bombay or someother big city, i had to say "Pudukkotai"... When i was in my primary class, i used to tell my friends that i was born in "New Fort", a city in England... some of them even believed me!!!


Now, i no longer have such a feeling... i felt so nice to get back to the place, where i was born and brought up for a couple of years... When i joined school, we shifted to Chennai, but still i used to go to my grandparents house every vacation... After a few years they sold the house and came to Chennai too... Two days ago, when we went to the house, it was the same old place, every brick was right there in place, no changes except for the people in the house... the neighbours were all the same... we asked permission from the residents in there and were admiring the place that was once ours... my grandma and grandpa were in tears as they entered their old mansion... my mother, and her siblings were telling us (their kids) as to where they used to study, which wall they used to scribble about one another, which tree in the backyard they have once climbed... so on and so forth... my cousins and me were simply smiling and inqusitively questioning them...


After a few mins of excited words and emotional exchanges, we began our journey back home... i took the window seat and was watching the beautiful landscape of the countryside... with both sides of the narrow road laden with trees and flowers of every kind... on one side my mother was chatting with her brother and sister...on the other, my cousins were playing UNO cards... each one shouting and fighting occasionally with their brothers and sisters... and suddenly a strange thought occured to me...really strange... i have never thought of it before... it is now 18 years.. and such a thought has never ever stuck me so painfully... i began to wonder...


WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT ANY SIBLINGS??? WHY AM I SINGLE??? WHY DONT I HAVE AN ELDER BROTHER??? WHY NOT A CUTE LIL YOUNGER SIS??? ....

My parents have been really dear to me... they have never been controlling or conditional parents... they have punished me for any wrong i do... they have tirelessly advised me... at the same time... they have given me what i wanted at the time they thought was right... They have dedicated all the time in the world for me...Even to this date, they take me to my cousins place at least once in a week... in fact, till now i have spent only one b'day with my friends... otherwise, its always been a family party or a family get-together... This is probably one of the reasons, i have never felt a need for a sibling...


Most of my cousins are much younger to me... Only a couple who really match my age, but still i have my own reservations in telling them things that are closest to my heart... However, i have always treated them and loved them as if they were my own bro or sis... Somehow, from that evening my heart suddenly had this desperate feeling of not having my own sister or brother...


An elder brother with whom i could share everything that i had in my heart... who would drop me in class in his "super bike"... i would sit proudly behind him thinking "My brother is the fastest and best bike rider in this world"... with whom i would roll on the bed, pinch hard on his tummy, fight until i lost all the energy in me... then shamelessly wait until he comes up to me and sweetly kisses me for which i would bite him hard... a brother who would hug me when i leave for my in-laws place one day... someone, who always would give me a hand to climb up.. who's shoulder is ever there to cry, who is always protective and who's love is undying....


Or at least, a younger sister... who would be the fighter cock of the house... who would cry for anything and everythin in this world... with whom i would boss around... scold her for not completing the homework before i return from college... teach her all that i know and make sure she is the best in her class... dress her up like a princess and proudly hold her hand as we walk to any party... a sister who's every problem would be solved by me... who's every wish would be granted... who would be loved more than anyone else in this world...


I only wish i had someone like that... i only wish... But not to regret... i am still proud to be the "Only One, Kanli Kann" for my parents... i hope not to let them down in anything i do... i only wish i could make them as proud as ever... and happy that they had only one... who's trouble and mischief was enough to last another lifetime!!!!