Diplomacies in an Indian Marriage !!!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!!!

Well…that statement very well illustrates the excitement that has wrapped me. Hope you guys are having a wonderful time too, be it at work, university or vacation. It was a wonderful weekend for me. My uncle celebrated his b’day with the entry of a brand new car. He gave me a chance to drive it. It felt like I was driving some chariot on the dusty, bumpy and crowded roads of Chennai. My aunt certified that my driving was neat and patient, a comment that I am craving to get from my own mother!!! When I drive the car, you can literally tell that my mom’s BP is at its peak and she would anytime break out with a heart attack. Since my dad has taken the driver’s seat for more than 20 years now, she will take her time to accept me as the driver and I shall wait, patiently and eagerly until that day dawns.

On Sunday, along with my uncle’s family we went to my eldest uncle’s place. Our family get-togethers are such fun. Mockery, uncles and aunties into heated discussions about our mischief, cousins’ secrects, tea sessions, plans for a family outing to the beach or a movie and much more. This Sunday was not those “yet another regular family meetings”. It was one of those days I have been waiting for, so eagerly in life, yet something deep within my heart silently says – “Plz, let this not happen. Let us be just like we were”. The fear that I might not be able to relive those precious moments we spent together with grandpa, grandma, all uncles and aunties, daddies and mummies and our dear cousins broke loose last evening.

Let’s first get to the lighter half of the story. The excitement began, as all of us settled comfortably in an air conditioned room, with papers scattered all around and our conversations constantly being disturbed by half a dozen mobiles, each ringing with a peculiar ringtone!!! Then, the topic arose – Ashok’s marriage. We were all waiting to grab it. Frankly that was the purpose of our visit. My uncle, his two sons (Ashwin, Nithin) and myself began to rag our eldest cousin, Ashok. Usually, we are the ones who are literally tortured by his unending teasing sessions. But this time, very surprising, he portrayed himself as a shy, dignified man - gentleman, who would simply sit by and watch us mock at him. For all the fun we were having at his cost, he simply returned the gratitude with an unassuming handsome smile. However, the air lacked its usual exuberance due to his silence.

Two months back, my grandpa had called him separately and enquired his age. Quickly realizing the hidden meaning in this question and well aware that he would definitely escape, he has bravely answered. But little did he realize that his answer would backfire. Grandpa has exclaimed, “Oh!!! I got married when I was just 18 years. So its time you get married too!!!” Belonging to a middle class, mildly orthodox Hindu family, all elders in the family have begun a serious search for a girl. We are still in the 1^st level of the hunt, that is, exchanging horoscopes and advertising our hero!!! We are yet to set out on a tour to the girl’s house with our hero and discuss each others’ family background, boy and girls’ interests and demands. The previous marriage of our eldest cousin has given all the elders some experience in this regard. So everyone knows that this will take some time and requires lots of issues to think about and analyze.

Of all the people, I am the one who shows maximum interest in getting my cousin married. Though I get some innocent and selfish happiness in that, I cant afford to miss it - I can boss around as the hero’s sister, dressed with new clothes, eat a scrumptious marriage luncheon and most importantly, according to the Hindu custom, the bridegroom’s sister ties the 3^rd nuptial knot and this great responsibility would be mine!!! To think of this makes me feel as though I am the “most-wanted”. I have been pestering that they finish off the marriage before I leave for S’pore, but I know quite well that its not such a simple matter afterall. However, I have no regrets, I would be more than happy to take a break from university and proudly tell my friends that I am going back home for my brother’s marriage and that I am the most important girl for the function apart from the bride!!!

When I seriously come to think about what is going to happen, my heart begins to feel lonely, as though everything in life came with a tag that says – “Temporary”. One day, I too would be gone, with my own family, in some part of this world, far away from my dear people. I would miss all our weekly meetings, the fun that I had with my cousins. The episodes of today would soon become memories of yesterday. We have been more like brothers and sisters, rather than cousins. I feel so elated when they share so much love and care with me, feel for me when I take my flight back to S’pore, and eagerly await my return, to narrate family updates and enjoy every moment they spend with me. I truly, deeply wish that the love we share lasts forever, the bond that exists never melts and that we get back to these days, mock and tease one another, with the same feeling, no matter who has entered our life…

p.s.: This post is dedicated to all in my family.